Threadless.com - Best t-shirts in the world
Type Tees - Amazing tees created from submitted slogans!
The Select Series - Artist edition limited invite only tee shirt designs
Threadless Kids - Designer kids & baby clothing
FRICKINAWESOME
FRICKINAWESOME aka Evan Ferstenfeld is a 32.31 year old boy, has been a member since May 5, 2006, has scored 65749 submissions, giving an average score of 1.71.
Alumni Club Member
Youtube Killed The TV Star.
of 29 votes, 31% like it
My Non-Verbal Communication Skills Seem To Be Working.
of 26 votes, 31% like it
My Recent Home Improvement Was Zombie-Proofing The Windows.
of 23 votes, 52% like it
The Students of Ghost High Have Lots Of School Spirits.
of 15 votes, 40% like it
Gravity: The Force Is Strong With This One.
of 26 votes, 65% like it
Daylight Savings Is The Lamest Way To Time Travel.
of 34 votes, 53% like it
Sleepwalkers Are Just One Brain-Craving Away From Being Zombies.
of 28 votes, 54% like it
I Eat Three Square Meals A Day Because Other Shapes Taste Funny.
of 29 votes, 69% like it
Attention Muggers: Person Wearing This Shirt Has $5 Or Less.
of 24 votes, 54% like it
I Assume All Bearded Men With Walking Sticks Are Wizards.
of 29 votes, 69% like it
The Only Vacation I Can Afford Is Changing Exotic Desktop Images.
of 27 votes, 59% like it
Give Me A Dollar And I'll Tell You A Great Way To Make Money.
of 44 votes, 66% like it
Racking Your Brains Makes A Lot More Space To Store Ideas.
of 43 votes, 49% like it
Bed Sheets Are Just Really Lazy Ghosts.
of 54 votes, 67% like it
I Hired An Investigator To Find Out Who Framed My Pictures.
of 42 votes, 43% like it
An Apple A Day Makes Another Worm Homeless.
of 42 votes, 60% like it
Be Nice To Computers Because Some Day They'll Be Our Overlords.
of 39 votes, 51% like it
I Gave Peace A Chance, But It Only Read Me Lame Poetry.
of 46 votes, 63% like it
Giant Green Lizards Are The #1 Cause Of Inner-City Deaths.
of 37 votes, 46% like it
Time Machines Can Make Your Fifteen Minutes Of Fame Last Forever.
of 50 votes, 70% like it
Spirits Are Ghosts That Have A Drinking Problem.
of 51 votes, 51% like it
My T-Shirt Can Magically Transform Into A Napkin.
of 56 votes, 61% like it
When I Come To A Fork In The Road, It's Time to Eat.
of 52 votes, 54% like it
In Case Of Sarcastic Emergency: 1. STOP 2. DROP 3. ROLL YOUR EYES
of 51 votes, 67% like it
(in big letters) I'M NOT ONE FOR SMALL TALK.
of 47 votes, 57% like it
I Hacked My Way Onto Santa's Nice List.
of 50 votes, 54% like it
Honesty Is The Best Policy If You Want People To Hate You.
of 57 votes, 67% like it
Dear Diary, I Couldn't Find You So I Wrote On A T-Shirt...
of 47 votes, 51% like it
(on back) You're Thinking About Me Behind My Back, Aren't You?
of 52 votes, 48% like it
I'm Not Clumsy, I Just Like Doing Spontaneous Dance Moves.
of 57 votes, 68% like it
If You Don't Have Something Nice To Say, Say It With A Smile.
of 62 votes, 63% like it
Walking A Mile In Someone Else's Shoes Is Unsanitary.
of 51 votes, 57% like it
The Circle Of Life Isn't As Fun If You're A Square.
of 62 votes, 55% like it
I Don't Like Sports But I Do Enjoy Drinking And High Fives.
of 58 votes, 53% like it
Middle Fingers Aren't Bad, That's Just Their Position In Life.
of 63 votes, 62% like it
Infinity: The Gift That Keeps On Giving.
of 72 votes, 61% like it
Never Wish Upon A Ninja Star.
of 67 votes, 60% like it
Stop Signs Before They Try To Stop You!
of 72 votes, 53% like it
Daytime Is Brought To You By A Generous Donation From The Sun.
of 74 votes, 50% like it
By The End Of His Life, Humpty Dumpty Had Become A Crackhead.
of 76 votes, 49% like it
Love Triangles Are The Sexiest Of All Geometric Shapes.
of 68 votes, 59% like it
Puppets Should Learn How To Speak For Themselves.
of 63 votes, 67% like it
Speaking In Third Person Is Like A Verbal Out-Of-Body Experience.
of 49 votes, 49% like it
On The Inside, We're All Made Of The Same Icky Stuff.
of 64 votes, 59% like it
My Mind Was Blown Away During A Freak Brainstorming Accident.
of 64 votes, 59% like it
Studies Have Proven That I Don't Like Reading Them.
of 71 votes, 70% like it
I Have The Key To Happiness, But Someone Changed The Locks.
of 68 votes, 53% like it
I Remember Back In The Day When It Was Morning.
of 93 votes, 80% like it
People Say I'm In Denial, But I Don't Agree With Them At All.
of 89 votes, 70% like it
Peace & Love Is The Best Answer. Except On Math Tests.
of 81 votes, 62% like it
It Was A Dark And Stormy Night. Story Continued On Next Shirt.
of 75 votes, 56% like it
I Exercise By Having An Active Imagination.
of 74 votes, 62% like it
Anyone Can Be A Fast Runner Depending On What's Chasing Them.
of 76 votes, 54% like it
Coin Collecting Is Only Cool When Video Game Characters Do It.
of 76 votes, 59% like it
I Want To Start A Revolution, But I Think It's Against The Rules.
of 99 votes, 63% like it
Nouns Only Want You For One Thing, Person or Place.
of 85 votes, 60% like it
10 Times Out Of 9 What I Say Makes No Sense.
of 85 votes, 53% like it
Disobedient Planes Get Grounded.
of 77 votes, 56% like it
The Television Color Bars Are Really Prison For Bad Rainbows.
of 84 votes, 49% like it
If You're Telepathic, It's The Thought That Counts.
of 91 votes, 63% like it
Safes Are Boring, I Keep My Money In A Dangerous.
of 112 votes, 63% like it
My Reality Check Recently Bounced.
of 100 votes, 66% like it
I Know Things About Stuff.
of 86 votes, 50% like it
People Who Overgeneralize Are All Idiots.
of 94 votes, 60% like it
Sci-Fi Fans Go Through Many Phasers Of Life.
of 85 votes, 59% like it
Television Likes It When You Watch.
of 88 votes, 60% like it
My Train Of Thought Was Robbed By Cowboys On Horseback.
of 102 votes, 60% like it
Hitting The Gym Only Exercises Your Knuckles.
of 86 votes, 50% like it
I Nearly Drowned Myself During My Last Brainstorm.
of 92 votes, 58% like it
The Definition Of Dictionary Just Says 'Haha. Very Funny.'
of 84 votes, 49% like it
Electrochemical Impulses Really Get On My Nerves.
of 74 votes, 55% like it
I Bet You Can't Read My Lips And This Shirt At The Same Time.
of 82 votes, 59% like it
Planets Get Clean By Taking Meteor Showers.
of 74 votes, 57% like it
You Don't Need A Cape To Save The Planet, Just Recycle.
of 74 votes, 46% like it
I'm Not Made Of Money, But My Organs Would Fetch A Decent Price.
of 88 votes, 56% like it
I Thought The Future Would Have More Beep Boop Sounds.
of 127 votes, 69% like it
I'm Betterist At Making Up Words Than You.
of 81 votes, 48% like it
You Can't Run Away From Your Problems. Use a Scooter Instead.
of 82 votes, 55% like it
Balloons Like To Get High On Nitrous Oxide.
of 72 votes, 36% like it
The Reference On This Shirt Is Too Obscure For You To Understand.
of 77 votes, 47% like it
Wearing A Monocle Only Makes One Of Your Eyes Classier.
of 105 votes, 70% like it
I'm Saving The World In My Head Right Now.
of 67 votes, 49% like it
Word Of Mouth Travels Faster Than Words From Any Other Body Part.
of 78 votes, 55% like it
I May Or May Not Be An Indecisive Person.
of 127 votes, 70% like it
My Superhero Disguise Is So Good You'll Think I'm A Normal Person
of 91 votes, 53% like it
Socialism Has No Class.
of 79 votes, 48% like it
Who Needs Drugs When You Can Stand Up Real Fast?
of 102 votes, 63% like it
Looking On The Bright Side For Too Long May Cause Blindness.
of 106 votes, 63% like it
Make War Simulation Video Games, Not War.
of 84 votes, 50% like it
I'm Your Worst Nightmare, Minus The Zombie Dragons.
of 81 votes, 43% like it
The Monkey On My Back Ate The Chip On My Shoulder.
of 100 votes, 51% like it
Sticks And Stones May Break My Bones But Bullets Puncture Organs.
of 102 votes, 61% like it
The Equal Sign Always Sums It Up Best.
of 86 votes, 47% like it
What Do Skeletons Hide In Their Closets?
of 102 votes, 55% like it
In Real Life, Cougars Will Hunt You No Matter What Age You Are.
of 91 votes, 52% like it
Make Fun, Not War.
of 73 votes, 44% like it
Comparing Apples And Oranges Really Isn't That Hard.
of 88 votes, 49% like it
Cacti Get No Love From Treehuggers.
of 92 votes, 59% like it
Conspiracy Theorists Claim That 9 8 7.
of 92 votes, 55% like it
I Blame Scapegoats For People's Lack Of Taking Responsibility.
of 76 votes, 53% like it
Selling Real Estate Is Easier Than Selling Imaginary Estate.
of 82 votes, 49% like it
If You Can Read This, You're Not Watching My Back.
of 99 votes, 40% like it
I Tried Following Murphy's Law, But Something Went Wrong.
of 101 votes, 57% like it
Time Flies When It Wears A Superhero Costume.
of 81 votes, 38% like it
If I Like Being Around People, Does That Make Me A Socialist?
of 81 votes, 32% like it
I Taught All The Chairs In My House To Sit.
of 81 votes, 35% like it
If Silence Is Golden, Is Awkward Silence Fool's Gold?
of 85 votes, 45% like it
I Always Get Sayings Wrong But That's The Way The Banana Crumbles
of 104 votes, 62% like it
The Swordfish Is Mightier And Tastier Than The Sword.
of 85 votes, 48% like it
Trains Are Easy To Hunt Down, They Leave Very Distinct Tracks.
of 91 votes, 46% like it
I'm A Fan Of Team Work, But I'd Rather Be On Team Relaxation.
of 98 votes, 45% like it
I'm Not A Stalker, I'm a Sleuth.
of 94 votes, 45% like it
Insanity Is 1% Inspiration and 99% Flying Unicorns.
of 132 votes, 61% like it
By A Show Of Hands, Who Is Entertained By Sock Puppets?
of 85 votes, 41% like it
Baby Oil Better Not Be Made Out Of What I Think It Is.
of 103 votes, 63% like it
Avalanches Are Great Exercise Motivators.
of 98 votes, 48% like it
Please Speak Up, The Devil On My Shoulder Keeps Yelling.
of 106 votes, 43% like it
Raise Both Feet If You Like To Jump!
of 96 votes, 52% like it
I Always Feel Better After Playing On The Mood Swings.
of 97 votes, 46% like it
Verbs: All The Cool Kids Are Doing Them.
of 104 votes, 48% like it
The Pen Is Writier Than The Sword.
of 112 votes, 51% like it
I've Stopped Lying Ever Since I Was Nearly Killed By A Dragon.
of 128 votes, 63% like it
Do You Know What I Hate Most About Unanswered Questions?
of 126 votes, 66% like it
Independent Films Don't Need Anyone To Watch Or Support Them.
of 102 votes, 53% like it
There's Safety In Numbers. Except During Bomb Countdowns.
of 88 votes, 43% like it
History Books Were Much Shorter In Ancient Times.
of 105 votes, 57% like it
Say What You Will About Censorship, But I Think It's *** ** ***.
of 108 votes, 61% like it
5 Out Of 5 Old People Agree: You Should Get Off Their Lawn.
of 98 votes, 48% like it
Our Cars Run On Dinosaur Ghosts.
of 97 votes, 53% like it
Ice Cream Just Tastes Better Served Out Of A Musical Truck.
of 129 votes, 73% like it
Kill People With Kindness. And If That Fails, Use Poison.
of 121 votes, 71% like it
Online Daters Believe In Love At First Site.
of 109 votes, 65% like it
I Want To Form A Negativity Club, But No One's Gonna Join Anyway.
of 124 votes, 71% like it
Unlike My Competitors, I'm Giving Away My Hugs For Free.
of 84 votes, 49% like it
What Part of the Word 'Molendinarious' Do You Not Understand?
of 81 votes, 52% like it
Deja Vu Is The Time Traveler's Version Of Jet Lag.
of 98 votes, 71% like it
I Love Life, But I'm Not Always IN Love With It.
of 84 votes, 42% like it
Someday I'll Leave A Beautiful Fossil For An Alien Race To Dig Up
of 89 votes, 48% like it
Whoever Said There's No Free Lunches Never Checked The Dumpster.
of 90 votes, 47% like it
A Lot Of My Good Friends I Only Know By Screen Names.
of 90 votes, 44% like it
Empathy Is All Well And Good, But What's In It For Me?
of 97 votes, 47% like it
Timely T-Shirts Get Old, But The Y2K Bug Is Gonna Last Forever!
of 80 votes, 41% like it
I Remember How Condescending I Was When I Was Your Age.
of 102 votes, 61% like it
I Whole-Heartedly Believe In Half-Hearted Statements.
of 85 votes, 48% like it
I Wrote Down The Best Excuse Today, But My Dog Ate It.
of 99 votes, 61% like it
A Torn Picture Is Only Worth 500 Words.
of 97 votes, 55% like it
Artificial Intelligence Will Impress Me When Robots Learn Sarcasm
of 116 votes, 69% like it
Sure, My Mom Dressed Me- But I Picked Out The Cool T-Shirt.
of 79 votes, 49% like it
Space Could Use Its Space Way More Efficiently.
of 84 votes, 43% like it
I've Had No Bright Ideas Since The Lightbulb Above My Head Broke.
of 91 votes, 46% like it
There's Nothing New Under The Sun, So I Checked Behind It.
of 92 votes, 49% like it
The World Is My Oyster, But I'm Allergic To Seafood.
of 96 votes, 47% like it
Nature Calls The 4th Of July 'Humans Attack The Sky' Day.
of 92 votes, 39% like it
I Believe In The Religion That Has The Most Holidays.
of 129 votes, 71% like it
My Favorite Viking Pop Group Is The Pillage People.
of 83 votes, 37% like it
Masochists Like To Slip Into Something Less Comfortable.
of 76 votes, 45% like it
Metaphives Are Metaphors Plus One.
of 77 votes, 42% like it
I'd Show You What I'm Made Of, But Molecules Are Really Tiny.
of 116 votes, 66% like it
If You've Got Nothing But Time On Your Hands, Wash Them Off.
of 78 votes, 46% like it
The Sound Barrier: You Break It, You Bought It!
of 97 votes, 56% like it
On The Plus Side, In Space No One Can Hear You Hiccup Either.
of 81 votes, 37% like it
Are You Entitled To That Opinion? Let Me See Your Paperwork.
of 84 votes, 44% like it
Thankfully Peacocks Don't Look Anything Like Their Name.
of 93 votes, 54% like it
Stop Animal Abuse. Adopt A Pinata.
of 141 votes, 70% like it
For Those About To Rock, We Salute You... With Paper.
of 118 votes, 49% like it
Waiter, There's A Ninja Star In My Turtle Soup!
of 114 votes, 46% like it
Side Effects Of Reading This Shirt Include Annoyance and Sarcasm.
of 104 votes, 43% like it
I Was Going To Procrastinate Today, But I'll Just Do It Tomorrow
of 116 votes, 53% like it
I'm Very Good At, Um, Ah...What's That Word, Ummm, Communicating!
of 101 votes, 35% like it
Zombies Are Just Nature's Way Of Recycling Humans.
of 136 votes, 65% like it
The Only Way To Make This More Awkward Is If You Keep Staring.
of 110 votes, 55% like it
I Was Making A Family Tree, But Lost It In A Tragic Forest Fire.
of 110 votes, 45% like it
Forget The Sixth Sense, I'm More Impressed With The Common Sense.
of 115 votes, 45% like it
It's Official: Other Languages Have Better Curse Words.
of 127 votes, 61% like it
Studies Have Shown That I Don't Like To Study.
of 120 votes, 53% like it
I Only Obey The Law Of Gravity When Cops Are Watching.
of 117 votes, 49% like it
The Speed Of Light Has Half The Calories Of The Speed Of Heavy.
of 112 votes, 47% like it
Feelings Are Way Too Sensitive.
of 104 votes, 43% like it
I Can't Stand Animal Puns And I'm Not Even Lion.
of 124 votes, 52% like it
Fiction: You Can't Make Stuff Like That Up.
of 120 votes, 54% like it
I Re-Arrange My Money So They All Face the Same Way.
of 95 votes, 44% like it
What Kind Of Fossil Fuel Did Dinosaur Cars Run On?
of 100 votes, 43% like it
My Friends Aren't Imaginary, Just Invisible And Shy.
of 131 votes, 69% like it
Winners Never Quit. Faking An Injury Looks Much Better.
of 114 votes, 61% like it
Flying Broomsticks Are The Cleanest Form Of Transportation.
of 111 votes, 50% like it
Vegetarians And Math Teachers Agree: Be Fruitful And Multiply.
of 102 votes, 48% like it
MC Raven Won't Stop Rapping At My Chamber Door.
of 100 votes, 46% like it
If Silence Is Golden, I Bet Mimes And Monks Are Loaded.
of 112 votes, 54% like it
I Wish All Wars Could Be Settled With A Dance-Off.
of 112 votes, 63% like it
Real Ice Breakers Are Not Acceptable Conversation Starters.
of 104 votes, 50% like it
Death: Still The Number One Cure For All Known Ailments.
of 104 votes, 55% like it
Works Of Fiction Have Problems With Keeping It Real.
of 107 votes, 48% like it
Dear Chairs, I'm Sorry You Always Get The Ass-End Of The Deal.
of 98 votes, 33% like it
Chameleons Won't Impress Me Until They Learn How To Change Shape.
of 102 votes, 51% like it
.ygolohcysp esrever esu I
of 117 votes, 56% like it
Life Is Tired Of You Grabbing It By The Horns.
of 98 votes, 48% like it
Just About Anything Is Greater Than Sliced Bread.
of 112 votes, 56% like it
Help Prevent Foot-In-Mouth Disease. Please Speak Responsibly.
of 99 votes, 51% like it
The Dark Ages Would Have Been More Fun With Bouncy Castles.
of 128 votes, 68% like it
Talk Is Cheap, But Words On A Shirt Are More Expensive.
of 100 votes, 43% like it
I Support Columns.
of 96 votes, 34% like it
In Candyland, People Stay Warm By Putting On A Sugar Coat.
of 98 votes, 41% like it
The Most Important Thing About Mumbling Is Mrmhmrmrmrmhm.
of 103 votes, 45% like it
If The Proof Is In The Pudding, I Ate The Proof And It Was Yummy.
of 108 votes, 55% like it
No One Stops To Smell The Venus Flytraps Anymore.
of 93 votes, 43% like it
Some Call It Skywriting, I Call It Cloud Graffiti.
of 95 votes, 49% like it
Draw Pictures Not Pistols
of 105 votes, 47% like it
Words: The Best Thing Since Grunting and Pointing.
of 115 votes, 57% like it
People Who Use Words Incorrectly Are Such Oxymorons.
of 124 votes, 62% like it
Going Insane Makes All Of Your Dreams Come True.
of 109 votes, 45% like it
If At First You Don't Succeed, Sue Someone Who Has.
of 109 votes, 50% like it
Thiiiiiiis Shirrrrrrrrt Isssssss Innnnn Sloooooooow Moootiooooon.
of 127 votes, 40% like it
When I Grow Up, I'm Getting A Passport And Moving To Candyland.
of 115 votes, 41% like it
Wormholes: Good For Both Soil Enrichment And Time Travel.
of 116 votes, 43% like it
I Pray For World Peace, But Mostly For The Sky To Rain Candy.
of 121 votes, 60% like it
4 Out Of 5 Doctors Agree They Are Tired Of Taking These Surveys.
of 122 votes, 60% like it
I Have A Bunk Bed If You Count The Monsters Sleeping Under Me.
of 102 votes, 37% like it
Ice Cream Headaches: As Delicious As They Are Painful.
of 97 votes, 36% like it
A Cow Goes 'Moo', A Dog Goes 'Woof', And A Mouse Goes 'Click'.
of 111 votes, 47% like it
Zebras Are Just Horses With Bad Tan Lines.
of 104 votes, 43% like it
What If Irony Meant The Exact Opposite Of What We Thought It Did?
of 123 votes, 60% like it
My Artwork Looks Best Taped To Refridgerator Doors.
of 113 votes, 58% like it
I Humbly Suggest That I'm Extremely Awesome.
of 118 votes, 55% like it
Rule #1 For Being In Lazy Club Is, Well, We Haven't Decided Yet.
of 95 votes, 41% like it
If Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right, How Many Wrongs Does It Take?
of 108 votes, 56% like it
I Was An Air Violin Childhood Prodigy.
of 83 votes, 37% like it
Some People Sleep Their Way To The Top, I Bought A Bunk Bed.
of 96 votes, 41% like it
Not Enough People Go On Mythical Quests Anymore.
of 110 votes, 50% like it
Earthquakes: The Original Movers & Shakers.
of 104 votes, 40% like it
I'm Psychic. Or Psycho, I Forget Which Word The Voices Said To Me
of 130 votes, 60% like it
I'm Angry 'Lumber' And 'Dumber' Aren't Pronounced The Same Way.
of 94 votes, 33% like it
When History Was Younger, It Didn't Repeat Itself As Much.
of 127 votes, 66% like it
How Original Can One Be When We're All Using The Same Words?
of 93 votes, 42% like it
Legend Has It That People Used To Make Up Crazy Stories.
of 113 votes, 45% like it
I Never Had An Imaginary Friend So I Just Made One Up Instead.
of 119 votes, 53% like it
Icicles Are Winter's Way Of Trying To Murder You.
of 115 votes, 50% like it
Everybody Raise Your Hands If You Believe In Conformity!
of 112 votes, 45% like it
Bubble Wrap Will Always Be My Favorite Toy.
of 109 votes, 44% like it
WARNING: This Shirt Is A Choking Hazard If Swallowed.
of 106 votes, 37% like it
I'm Not Gaining Weight, My Inner Child Is A Little Chubby.
of 98 votes, 38% like it
I've Never Held A Dagger Before, But I'd Take A Stab At It.
of 98 votes, 42% like it
I Perform Musicals In Front Of Random Security Cameras.
of 109 votes, 48% like it
I Exercise By Running Away From Reality.
of 104 votes, 41% like it
An Eye For An Eye Makes It Hard To Tell Who's A Real Pirate.
of 115 votes, 51% like it
Zeus Excels At Lightning Rounds On Game Shows.
of 102 votes, 32% like it
Who Needs A Calculator When I Have All These Fingers And Toes?
of 120 votes, 45% like it
Stories From Galaxies Far Far Away Have Been Greatly Exaggerated
of 107 votes, 37% like it
My Heart Is Always In The Right Place- My Ribcage.
of 120 votes, 50% like it
I've Said It Before And I'll Say It Again, I Hate Repetition.
of 135 votes, 61% like it
Water: The Number One Killer Of Fires.
of 121 votes, 39% like it
Death Only Comes When You Run Out Of Quarters To Continue.
of 137 votes, 40% like it
People Say My Best Quality Is An Extreme Attention To Deetail.
of 119 votes, 39% like it
I'm Like A Love Grenade That Hits You With Shrapnels Of Awesome!
of 114 votes, 36% like it
Keeping It Real Is So Selfish, I Also Try To Give Some Real Back.
of 99 votes, 35% like it
Keyholes Are A Gateway Drug For Peeping Toms.
of 101 votes, 31% like it
This Shirt Is: a)funny b)confusing c)spicy d) all of the above
of 113 votes, 31% like it
Some Say I Don't Finish My Thoughts, But I Say That's A Cute Owl.
of 130 votes, 55% like it
The Food Pyramid Taught Me The Importance Of Eating Triangles.
of 129 votes, 50% like it
Number 2 Pencils: Making Runners-Up Feel Like They Came In First.
of 104 votes, 35% like it
I Bet You A Dollar I Can Get You To Read My Shirt.
of 113 votes, 38% like it
Sorry I Missed The Bad Excuses Meeting, I Was Stuck In Traffic.
of 108 votes, 44% like it
We'd All Be A Little Better Off If Life Had A Ten-Second Delay.
of 101 votes, 37% like it
I Majored In Non-Verbal Communication. See What I've Learned?
of 96 votes, 34% like it
I Eat My Words So Much I've Started Coating Them With Chocolate.
of 123 votes, 56% like it
If X Marks The Spot, ? Marks The Mushrooms And Fire Flowers.
of 127 votes, 39% like it
Beavers: Giving A Dam Since Birth.
of 128 votes, 49% like it
Watch Out For Octopi, They're Always Heavily Armed.
of 117 votes, 38% like it
On Second Thought, I Really Should Have Trusted My First One.
of 112 votes, 37% like it
(back) I Don't Quite Follow You. Actually, You're Following Me.
of 130 votes, 41% like it
Danger Is My Middle Name. Frighty Danger McScaredypants.
of 133 votes, 43% like it
Words: They Get People Talking.
of 123 votes, 42% like it
Videogames Lied To Me About The Adventurous Lives Of Plumbers.
of 162 votes, 64% like it
Sweating Bullets Would Be Very Useful During Wartime.
of 142 votes, 48% like it
Earthquakes Are Just Nature Moving Its Puzzle Pieces Around.
of 124 votes, 37% like it
The Voices In My Head Came Together To Form A Barbershop Quartet.
of 130 votes, 38% like it
Science: 'We Didn't Mean To Make That, But That's Way Cool Too.'
of 115 votes, 38% like it
I Don't Like To Dance, But I Do Enjoy Flailing Around.
of 122 votes, 46% like it
A Pinball Wizard Is The Nerdiest Of All Magical Beings.
of 149 votes, 47% like it
Human Cannonballs Aren't Good At Their Jobs Unless They Get Fired
of 132 votes, 42% like it
I Assume All People With Walking Sticks Are Magical Wizards.
of 145 votes, 47% like it
I Don't Speak Other Languages, I Just Know Their Curse Words.
of 123 votes, 46% like it
Clouds Are Just Rainstorms In Cute, Fluffy Disguises.
of 136 votes, 54% like it
Let's Hear It For Silence!!!!!
of 149 votes, 52% like it
I Use Stronger Language Since My Vocabulary Started Working Out.
of 128 votes, 47% like it
There's Not A Surface On Earth That Can't Be An Instant Drum Kit.
of 131 votes, 42% like it
There Are No Wrong Answers, Just Ones You Laugh Really Hard At.
of 133 votes, 52% like it
My Heart Would Make A Great DJ With All These Awesome Beats.
of 115 votes, 35% like it
If Silence Is Golden, Is Awkward Conversation At Least Silver?
of 131 votes, 49% like it
Agoraphobics Agree It's What's Inside That Really Counts.
of 151 votes, 60% like it
Zombies Wear Other People's Hearts On Their Sleeve.
of 117 votes, 42% like it
My T-Shirt Does A Fantastic Impression Of A Turtleneck Sweater.
of 118 votes, 36% like it
I'm Thinking About The Gym, So At Least I Exercised My Brain.
of 123 votes, 48% like it
I Let My Mind Wander And Now A Search Party Is Out Looking For It
of 115 votes, 45% like it
A Pen Is Mightier Than The Sword, But Only If It Squirts Poison.
of 118 votes, 37% like it
Drop Babies Not Bombs. No Wait...Don't Drop Either.
of 123 votes, 41% like it
Tractor Beams Make Farming Seem So Much Cooler.
of 113 votes, 37% like it
Exposing Yourself To New Things Might Get You Arrested.
of 116 votes, 47% like it
Drop Hints Not Bombs
of 110 votes, 37% like it
Raise Your Hand If You Like Exercise. Now The Other And Repeat.
of 110 votes, 45% like it
Can You Turn Around Please? I'm Trying To Launch A Sneak Attack.
of 110 votes, 48% like it
Going Green Is A Wonderful Thing Unless You're About To Throw Up.
of 109 votes, 37% like it
Unicorns Bleed Rainbows And Magic.
of 121 votes, 43% like it
This Shirt Hides My Scar From A Vicious Unicorn Stabbing.
of 120 votes, 43% like it
Never Go Head-To-Head With A Unicorn.
of 118 votes, 42% like it
Pie Charts: As Delicious As They Are Informative.
of 131 votes, 51% like it
Unicorns Don't Believe In YOU Either.
of 151 votes, 58% like it
Unicorns Are Just Metrosexual Rhinos.
of 131 votes, 53% like it
Geometry: Taking All The Fun Out Of The Shapes We Loved As Kids.
of 128 votes, 46% like it
A Bird In The Hand Means You're Probably Flipping Me Off.
of 119 votes, 40% like it
(on green) It's Actually Pretty Damn Easy Being This Color.
of 132 votes, 39% like it
So This Person Wearing An Awesome T-Shirt Walks Into A Bar...
of 122 votes, 34% like it
Movie Mathematics: One Million Humans Killed = One Dog Death
of 133 votes, 34% like it
The Great Outdoors Looks Better From The Window Of My Heated Room
of 121 votes, 41% like it
Cook Books Taste Surprisingly Awful.
of 136 votes, 40% like it
Mad Is Such A Strong Word, I'm More Of An Agitated Scientist.
of 159 votes, 57% like it
I Enjoy Smart Humor, Like A Scientist Tripping On A Encyclopedia.
of 123 votes, 46% like it
You Can See Right Through Me. (also written on back reversed)
of 117 votes, 45% like it
Nobody Seems To Care About All The Apathy In The World Today.
of 140 votes, 56% like it
Labyrinths Are Like Mazes, But With More Rock Stars And Puppets.
of 162 votes, 59% like it
When It Rains I Fight Back By Shooting A Squirt Gun At The Sky.
of 147 votes, 52% like it
You Seem Like The Type Of Person Who Reads People's Shirts.
of 135 votes, 41% like it
These Words Exist Only In Your Mind. I'm Not Even Wearing A Shirt
of 120 votes, 43% like it
The More Things Change, The More This Cliche Stays The Same.
of 125 votes, 48% like it
The Letter "O" Always Seems So Surprised.
of 134 votes, 40% like it
How About You Say Something Funny To MY Shirt For A Change?
of 121 votes, 37% like it
I Was Once Held In A Computer Prison But I Made A Miraculous Esc.
of 129 votes, 43% like it
Volcanoes Would Be Less Scary If They Were Filled With Hot Fudge.
of 130 votes, 40% like it
Let Your Boomerang Go. If It Comes Back, It Was Meant To Be.
of 122 votes, 40% like it
If All I Eat Are Empty Calories, Shouldn't I Be Losing Weight?
of 121 votes, 34% like it
You're Missing Some Really Awesome Facial Gestures Right Now.
of 131 votes, 44% like it
Fishnets: Good For Sexy Time AND Catching Your Dinner.
of 146 votes, 39% like it
Fantasy Sports Teams Need More Wizards and Unicorns.
of 137 votes, 38% like it
this is my shirt's inside voice (UV)AND THIS IS ITS OUTSIDE VOICE
of 138 votes, 45% like it
Artist Competitions Usually End In A Draw.
of 137 votes, 46% like it
Member Of The Rock/Paper/Scissors Non-Aggression Peace Movement
of 138 votes, 46% like it
Consider Yourself Lucky I Only Use My Powers For Good.
of 127 votes, 40% like it
Killing People With Kindness Is The Nicest Way To Murder Someone.
of 135 votes, 44% like it
Illegally Changing Lowercase Letters Is A Capital Offense.
of 134 votes, 34% like it
The Best Strategy To Win A Math Battle Is To Divide And Conquer.
of 119 votes, 41% like it
4 Out Of 5 People Agree This Joke Setup Is Very Cliche.
of 126 votes, 30% like it
The Most Amazing Thing I've Ever Seen Just Happened Behind You.
of 158 votes, 55% like it
I'm The Best At Geography On All Six Continents!
of 124 votes, 38% like it
I Had To Wrestle This Shirt Away From The Monster In My Closet.
of 126 votes, 38% like it
I Don't Know Karate, But I Can Make The Punch And Kicking Sounds.
of 133 votes, 44% like it
Dinosaurs Didn't Go Extinct, They Evolved Into Cute Plush Animals
of 139 votes, 50% like it
Don't Be Shy, Of Course You Can Have Your Picture Taken With Me!
of 123 votes, 36% like it
When I Do Something, I Do It 100 Percent. That Includes Quitting.
of 131 votes, 44% like it
Cell Phones Are NOT A Substitute For Lighters At A Concert.
of 136 votes, 50% like it
There's No Use Crying Over Tipped Cows.
of 124 votes, 41% like it
Fire Escapes Ignore The Fact That Humans Need Exits Too.
of 144 votes, 37% like it
Videogames Taught Me Mushrooms Help You Grow Up Big And Strong.
of 127 votes, 39% like it
A Cannibal's Favorite Meal Is A Breakfast Of Champions.
of 142 votes, 46% like it
My Mouth Is Where Awesome Rap Songs Go To Die.
of 144 votes, 40% like it
My Guitar Licks Taste Like Metal.
of 148 votes, 41% like it
I Like People Who Can Read, So You're Off To A Good Start!
of 156 votes, 46% like it
Civil War Reenactments Are The Laziest Form Of Time Travel.
of 166 votes, 54% like it
People Who Make Up Their Own Words Really Infuritate Me.
of 144 votes, 33% like it
Fog Is Just Clouds That Never Learned How To Fly.
of 163 votes, 52% like it
Grenades Have Only One Chance To Make A First Impression.
of 144 votes, 48% like it
I Keep Trying To Lose Weight, But It Always Manages To Find Me.
of 144 votes, 45% like it
Nightmares Are Your Brain's Revenge For Boring It During Worktime
of 148 votes, 47% like it
Where There's A Will, There's A Bunch Of Greedy Relatives.
of 172 votes, 58% like it
Escalators Move Me.
of 186 votes, 66% like it
This Tee Is Rated G And Contains Images Of A Non-Graphic Nature.
of 131 votes, 34% like it
I Have Multiple Personality Issues. No I Don't.
of 145 votes, 42% like it
Lumberjacks: The Number One Cause Of Ewok Home Foreclosures.
of 135 votes, 35% like it
Fish of the World Agree: Stay In Schools!
of 152 votes, 43% like it
I'll Try Anything Once, Even Trying Things Once Again.
of 142 votes, 40% like it
My Favorite Thing To Eat Is Food.
of 157 votes, 41% like it
Flowers Love It When You Wet Their Beds.
of 156 votes, 48% like it
If Rainbows Are So Cheerful, Why Are They Always Frowning?
of 173 votes, 51% like it
Nuclear War: Humanity's Instant Reset Button.
of 155 votes, 42% like it
My Favorite Stress Reliefs Are Meditation and Smashing Things.
of 151 votes, 46% like it
The Food Pyramid: Egypt's Most Nutritional Achievement.
of 175 votes, 50% like it
Zombies Can't Dance Because They Got No Soul.
of 184 votes, 56% like it
Riding Into The Sunset Can Give You First Degree Burns.
of 168 votes, 49% like it
Nouns Are Sick and Tired Of Being Objectified!
of 180 votes, 46% like it
I Thought The Police Sirens Were Just Trying To Cheer Me On.
of 210 votes, 54% like it
Near-Sighted People See The Glass As Half-Blurry.
of 240 votes, 49% like it
Due To Inflation, A Picture Is Now Worth Only 950 Words.
of 336 votes, 75% like it
Five Out Of Five Cannibals Agree You Are What You Eat.
of 261 votes, 58% like it
I Hate T-Shirts Almost As Much As I Love Irony.
of 283 votes, 51% like it
Question Marks Are Only For Sentences With Low Self-Confidence.
of 259 votes, 55% like it
Light Switches Turn Me On. And Off. And Then On Again.
of 237 votes, 36% like it
Humans: The Greatest Threat To Humans Since the Dawn of Humans.
of 281 votes, 60% like it
Hell: It's Actually More of a Dry Heat.
of 231 votes, 40% like it
Cartwheels Are The Most Fuel-Efficient Way To Travel.
of 225 votes, 43% like it
Astronauts Must Stay Focused Or They'll Just Stare Off Into Space
of 227 votes, 44% like it
I'm the Nigerian Prince That's Been E-Mailing You.
of 244 votes, 46% like it
(in gold and silver foil) I HATE ATTENTION SEEKERS.
of 234 votes, 49% like it
Planets Would Be Less Lonely If They Didn't Need So Much Space.
of 219 votes, 39% like it
I Think Unicorns Might Be Endangered. I Haven't Seen One in Ages.
of 248 votes, 48% like it
I Was Hoping This Shirt Would Make Me Feel LESS Socially Awkward.
of 244 votes, 43% like it
Cloning Humans is So Unoriginal.
of 253 votes, 41% like it
I Fluently Speak French, German and Other Names of Languages.
of 292 votes, 55% like it
I'm Sorry I Can't Talk Now, I Have To Go Make An Excuse.
of 268 votes, 46% like it
Global Warming is Just the Sun Trying To Give Us All Its Love.
of 307 votes, 56% like it
I Can Think Of At Least 3.14 Reasons Why Pi Is Awesome.
of 302 votes, 57% like it
Zombie Parents Find Raising Their Dead Very Difficult.
of 247 votes, 40% like it
Spoken Languages Are Just Agreed-Upon Goofy Noises.
of 263 votes, 43% like it
Just Once I'd Like To See a Suitcase Full of Money in Real Life.
of 261 votes, 48% like it
What's Another Word For "Synonym"?
of 316 votes, 60% like it
I Can't Even Remember the Last Time I Forgot Something.
of 297 votes, 54% like it
Fractions Have Made Me 1/2 The Person I Am Today.
of 267 votes, 44% like it
Even Numbers Think I'm Quite Odd.
of 276 votes, 46% like it
Spheres Are Just Elitist Circles.
of 257 votes, 46% like it
I Actually Wanted the Person Behind You To Read My Shirt.
of 320 votes, 58% like it
Multi-Colored Ghosts Always Hunt in Pacs.
of 274 votes, 45% like it
Amnesia Is the Cheapest Way To Start a New Life For Yourself.
of 303 votes, 58% like it
Science: Taking All the Fun Out of Guessing Since 1600.
of 379 votes, 70% like it
Hurricanes: The Hotel-Trashing Rock Star Of Weather.
of 248 votes, 40% like it
WANTED: Death Metal Band in Need of Harpist & Ukelele Player.
of 275 votes, 43% like it
Failure Is Not An Option. It Comes Standard With Most Humans.
of 325 votes, 61% like it
I Waste Food So I Can Recycle the Can It Was In.
of 270 votes, 39% like it
Two Things You Should Know About Me: I'm Not Good At Counting.
of 351 votes, 56% like it
I'm Not Over-Anxious, You're Just Under-Worried.
of 300 votes, 44% like it
Today's Forecast Calls For a 100 Percent Chance of Reading.
of 286 votes, 38% like it
The Meaning of Life Was On the Shirt I Wore Yesterday.
of 348 votes, 58% like it
I'd Say I'm Lazy, But I'd Rather Have My Shirt Do the Work For Me
of 292 votes, 41% like it
Pianos Always Sound Best When Crushing Cartoon Characters.
of 286 votes, 39% like it
I Only Solve Mazes That Have David Bowie In Them.
of 319 votes, 49% like it
Trap Doors Would Instantly Make Any Sport More Exciting.
of 390 votes, 63% like it
Due To Budget Cuts, Infinity Is Worth One Less Than It Used To.
of 311 votes, 42% like it
The First Rule of Anarchy: You Just Screwed Up Being an Anarchist
of 364 votes, 53% like it
Making a Bad Analogy is Like Watching Stick Figures Breakdance.
of 348 votes, 48% like it
Dogs Wearing Diamonds Are Everyone's Best Friend.
of 395 votes, 58% like it
Coloring Outside the Lines: Banned For Illegally Crossing Borders
of 321 votes, 42% like it
I've Been a Time Traveler Since Before I Was Born.
of 347 votes, 50% like it
Hangman Is a Promoter of Vigilante Grammatical Violence.
of 351 votes, 51% like it
Ask Me About My Hatred For Answering Questions.
of 350 votes, 45% like it
Standing Out in a Crowd is Easier Once Everyone Else is Seated.
of 327 votes, 48% like it
Greater Than > Less Than
of 326 votes, 34% like it
I'm Much More Confident After Having My Nervous System Removed.
of 322 votes, 38% like it
Doing My Part To Combat Global Warming By Making Earth Cooler.
of 333 votes, 44% like it
Heroes Are Too Busy Playing Guitar To Save Lives Nowadays.
of 450 votes, 64% like it
I Can Walk on Water. Well, Others Call It Ice Skating.
of 392 votes, 46% like it
I Can't Dance, But I'm Really Good At Flailing Around.
of 447 votes, 57% like it
Sometimes I Don't Even Get My Own Jokes Until Days Later.
of 413 votes, 48% like it
If You Must Throw Your Life Away, Please Recycle It.
of 441 votes, 57% like it
Drinking Coffee Is Not My Cup of Tea.
of 423 votes, 49% like it
I Know the Final Digit of Pi.
of 493 votes, 56% like it
Curiosity Museums Are Like Kitten Death Traps.
of 396 votes, 42% like it
I'm Currently Modeling My Parent's Genes.
of 404 votes, 41% like it
(front) Anagrams Are Awesome! (back) Arrows Ease, Sane Magma!
of 391 votes, 38% like it
I'd Take a Leap of Faith, But the Hurdles of Logic Are Too High!
of 379 votes, 40% like it
Forget Past & Future, I Like The Ghost of Christmas Presents.
of 402 votes, 35% like it
Plagiarists Are Just Doing Their Part to Recycle Old Ideas.
of 403 votes, 44% like it
I Bet I Can Get You To Stare At My Chest For Three Seconds.
of 420 votes, 44% like it
Exclamation Points Make Every Sentence Have a Happy Ending!
of 439 votes, 53% like it
The Universe Constantly Expanding Explains My Weight Gain.
of 383 votes, 32% like it
Live Every Day Like You Died the Day Before.
of 405 votes, 38% like it
(in glow ink) I'm Glow-in-the-Dork.
of 448 votes, 42% like it
In An Alternate Dimension, I'm Reading Your Shirt Right Now.
of 420 votes, 45% like it
Global Warming is Really the Titanic Getting Revenge on Icebergs.
of 505 votes, 55% like it
I Fight Crime By Being So Broke That Nobody Wants to Mug Me.
of 440 votes, 43% like it
I'm No Artist, But I'm Very Good at Drawing a Blank.
of 433 votes, 36% like it
Land: It's Like the Ocean Floor, But Less Watered-Down.
of 430 votes, 40% like it
The Internet Was Closed So I Thought I'd Come Outside Today.
of 554 votes, 64% like it
You Look Exactly Like I Pictured You From My Binoculars.
of 472 votes, 51% like it
Ten Foot Poles Don't Like Touching Gross Stuff Either.
of 625 votes, 72% like it
A.A.A.A.A. (Artists Against Abhorent Alliteration Assocation)
of 456 votes, 35% like it
If You Can Read This, I'm Not a Very Good Ninja.
of 650 votes, 62% like it
I Used To Wear Suspenders, But I'm Overall That Now.
of 483 votes, 39% like it
'People Shall Finally Remember My Name Forever' -Anonymous
of 610 votes, 60% like it
I Lift Huge Dictionaries To Give Myself More Definition.
of 547 votes, 55% like it
(for babies): I'm Having a Party Over at My Crib Tonight.
of 482 votes, 44% like it
Turning a Frown Upside Down Would Seriously Damage Your Lips.
of 483 votes, 39% like it
Street Beggars Do Not Fear Change.
of 518 votes, 45% like it
Scientology: The Religion With the Best Laser Battles.
of 559 votes, 52% like it
I Really Hate Reverse Psychology. Or Do I?
of 709 votes, 66% like it
Every Year, 500 People Drown Doing the Wave At Sporting Events.
of 527 votes, 41% like it
Thankfully I Lost That Mob of Screaming Fans.
of 509 votes, 39% like it
Rise Above Your Enemies. Then Throw Things Down On Their Heads.
of 568 votes, 50% like it
Did a Lightbulb Appear Over Edison's Head When He Invented It?
of 569 votes, 47% like it
Crime Doesn't Pay. It Just Takes Without Asking.
of 560 votes, 49% like it
Conservatives Find the Ninja Turtles To Be Too Radical.
of 575 votes, 45% like it
Swedes Don't Have Strange Names, They Were Just Bjorn That Way.
of 680 votes, 52% like it
The Meaning of Life is in Every Dictionary. What's the Confusion?
of 618 votes, 43% like it
Children Are Not the Future, Because By Then They'll Be Adults.
of 653 votes, 53% like it
If You Can Read This, My Invisibility Cloak Isn't Doing Its Job.
of 719 votes, 57% like it
In Theory, I'm a Brilliant Theoretical Scientist.
of 582 votes, 42% like it
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? Oh, These Words. Carry On.
of 625 votes, 38% like it
Looney Toons Taught Me You Can Run on Air Until You Look Down.
of 702 votes, 56% like it
I Know I'm A Stranger, But I'm a Really Cool Stranger.
of 690 votes, 48% like it
Be a Non-Conformist. Everybody's Doin' It!
of 683 votes, 43% like it
That Reminds Me of a Boring Story I Take Forever To Tell.
of 879 votes, 66% like it
The Art of Conversation is, Like, Kinda Dead and Stuff.
of 723 votes, 55% like it
Complaining Loudly is Much More Fun Than Suffering in Silence.
of 634 votes, 46% like it
Santaclaustrophobia: The Fear of Jolly Fat Men in Tight Spaces.
of 594 votes, 34% like it
Jehovah's Witnesses Do Not Tell Each Other Knock-Knock Jokes.
of 634 votes, 35% like it
I Hear There's an 80% Chance of Small Talk About the Weather.
of 626 votes, 41% like it
My Love For Oxymorons is Bittersweet.
of 757 votes, 57% like it
I Listen To Bands That Don't Even Exist Yet.
of 873 votes, 66% like it
Screenwriters Are Always Plotting Something.
of 692 votes, 43% like it
Almost Everyone Who Insults Your Mom Doesn't Know Her. Relax.
of 732 votes, 47% like it
The Future Isn't What It Used To Be.
of 911 votes, 69% like it
Thinking Outside the Box is Hard When You're Trapped in a Cubicle
of 662 votes, 42% like it
Math Nerds Rarely Get Hurt Because There's Safety in Numbers.
of 650 votes, 40% like it
Nerds Dance To the Beat of Algorithms.
of 627 votes, 33% like it
Identity Theft is the Sincerest Form of Flattery
of 669 votes, 43% like it
When Fantasy & Nightmares Collide, Zombie Unicorns Are Born
of 695 votes, 43% like it
Mimes, Ninjas and Cholesterol: The Silent Killers
of 900 votes, 65% like it
A Good Friend Is Someone Who Eats All the Black Jellybeans.
of 734 votes, 47% like it
The Thesaurus Was the Most Meaning Full of All Dinosaurs
of 740 votes, 41% like it
An Innocent Game of Tic-Tac-Toe Sometimes Ends in XXX
of 726 votes, 38% like it
You Can't Spell "SARCASM" Without "LETTERS"
of 812 votes, 52% like it
Everything Was So Much Cooler Back In The Ice Age.
of 751 votes, 44% like it
I Listen to Christian Death Metal Just to Confuse the Devil
of 802 votes, 50% like it
(on back) If This is Getting Easier to Read, I Am Moonwalking
of 804 votes, 50% like it
I've Tried to Cut Down on My Exaggerating a Million Times!
of 794 votes, 38% like it
I Know My Left and Right Ventricles By Heart.
of 781 votes, 37% like it
Today, I Think I'll Turn My Life into a Five-Part Musical.
of 832 votes, 35% like it
Straight Tetris Piece, You Complete Me.
of 861 votes, 46% like it
Leap Years: Proof That Science Sometimes Cheats
of 948 votes, 57% like it
Penguins in Our Living Rooms: The One Upside to Global Warming
of 813 votes, 38% like it
Knowing is Half the Battle. The Other Half is Killing People.
of 942 votes, 47% like it
I Don't Know What to Think of Indecisive People
of 926 votes, 48% like it
Forget Terrorists, Why Haven't We Captured Carmen Sandiego Yet?
of 1281 votes, 70% like it
I Invented a Time Machine, But Only Use It To Piss Off Historians
of 848 votes, 37% like it
I Sneak My Inner Child Into "R" Rated Movies
of 913 votes, 37% like it
Sometimes I Wish I Could Shoot Turtle Shells Out of my Car
of 877 votes, 37% like it
My Life is Loosely Based on a True Story.
of 928 votes, 46% like it
Chess is Checkers Made Unnecessarily Hard
of 927 votes, 46% like it
Slogans that have been deleted or that have been dropped from the contest
!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm In An Exclamatory Mood Today !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
of 41 votes, 24% like it
"Don't Quote Me on This!" - Me
of 45 votes, 22% like it
"Excuse Me While I Slip Onto Someone More Comfortable."
of 44 votes, 16% like it
"What if We ARE in the Matrix!?!" Said the Stoned Teen
of 36 votes, 11% like it
"X" Marks the Wrong Test Answer.
of 46 votes, 17% like it
'For A Limited Time' on TV Really Means 'Until the End of Time'.
of 44 votes, 9% like it
'I Have The Best Quote Ever On My T-Shirt.' -Me
of 21 votes, 14% like it
'I' 'Survived' 'the' 'Apostrophe' 'Catastrophe.'
of 49 votes, 24% like it
'Only the Good Die Young' Is Far From the Truth in Videogames.
of 42 votes, 19% like it
'Thunder And Lightning Is Very Very Frightening.' -Galileo
of 18 votes, 28% like it
(baby) Of Course I Cry. I See What's Up People's Noses All Day.
of 35 votes, 9% like it
(For Babies) I Saw It With My Own Eyes: My Daddy is Santa Claus!
of 4 votes, 25% like it
(For Babies) Is My Hair Gonna Grow, Or Am I Already Going Bald?
of 31 votes, 23% like it
(For Babies) Why Are Adults More Amused By Cartoons Than I Am?
of 29 votes, 14% like it
(front) Should Be on the Back. (back) Should Be on the Front.
of 31 votes, 16% like it
(Front) +3 Magic Armor ; (Back) -52 Popularity Magnet
of 42 votes, 10% like it
(front) It Was The Chicken. (back) It Was The Egg.
of 35 votes, 31% like it
(front) My Good Cop Profile / (back) My Bad Cop Profile
of 38 votes, 11% like it
(glow) This Sentence Looks Much Cooler At Night.
of 31 votes, 35% like it
(grammar junkies and astronomers love looking at solar ellipses)
of 20 votes, 20% like it
(In An MPAA box) THIS LIFE IS NOT YET RATED.
of 44 votes, 9% like it
(in big type) ROAR! (in small type) did my t-shirt scare you?
of 27 votes, 26% like it
(in big type) WORD. (in small) and here's a few more words too.
of 23 votes, 4% like it
(in Braille w/english translation below) Please Don't Touch!
of 45 votes, 22% like it
(in cut-out-letter typeface) I LOVE WRITING RANSOM NOTES
of 38 votes, 18% like it
(in gold foil) Shiny Things Distract Me Too!
of 50 votes, 30% like it
(in gold print): I HATE ATTENTION SEEKERS!!!
of 33 votes, 15% like it
(in tiny writing) bigger is better.
of 17 votes, 29% like it
(like a store sign) My Mind: Yes, We're Open!
of 11 votes, 9% like it
(Note On Back of Shirt): Gone On Banana Pilgrimage / -Monkey
of 33 votes, 9% like it
(numbers ALL over the shirt) I'm Told There's Safety In Numbers.
of 13 votes, 23% like it
(on a red shirt) This Shirt is Really Yellow in Disguise.
of 101 votes, 9% like it
(on a road sign) FINGER CROSSING
of 32 votes, 13% like it
(on a slant) Do You Ever Get A Sinking Feeling?
of 29 votes, 24% like it
(on a wifebeater) This Shirt In No Way Supports Spousal Abuse.
of 79 votes, 25% like it
(on back) Backstabbers, Please Take Your Knives Elsewhere!
of 115 votes, 50% like it
(on back) I'm Not A Fan Of Backstabbers.
of 47 votes, 23% like it
(on front) Sometimes My Reactions Are a Bit... (on back) Delayed.
of 48 votes, 21% like it
(on green) Wearing This Color is Actually Pretty Damned Easy.
of 38 votes, 18% like it
(on red) Boy, Is My Face and Shirt Read.
of 40 votes, 18% like it
(on red) I'm Extremely Well-Red.
of 39 votes, 21% like it
(on yellow) This is My Camouflage To Blend in With Yellow Snow.
of 30 votes, 7% like it
(out-of-focus) I'm So Glad I Have 20/20 Eyesight.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
(reversed) I Love Chasing Ambulances.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
(road sign) CAUTION: Falling Stars For The Next 25,000 Miles.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
(tiny writing on shirt) so this is what you look like squinting.
of 32 votes, 25% like it
(w/a drawing of eyeglasses) Does My Slogan Seem More Intelligent?
of 33 votes, 12% like it
(with a paint brush and splashes) Who Arted?
of 33 votes, 24% like it
(WITH GLOSSY INK) Shiny Stuff Distracts Me Too.
of 32 votes, 16% like it
(Written In a Circle) Who Says Nothing Lasts Forever?
of 7 votes, 14% like it
*Grammatical Danger Seekers Love To Take AsteRISKS.
of 37 votes, 35% like it
*obscure pop culture reference only myself and five others get*
of 26 votes, 19% like it
+H!$ $H!R+ !$ M@/) $YMB0/_ ! <
of 48 votes, 6% like it
100 People Were Surveyed and the #1 Answer Was "You".
of 47 votes, 13% like it
18 Out of 23 People Agree That This is a Strange Number to Sample
of 44 votes, 25% like it
2 Things About Me: I'm the Best Thing Ever & Incredibly Humbl
of 2 votes, 0% like it
2 Things About Me: I'm the Best Thing Ever and Incredibly Humble.
of 34 votes, 21% like it
2nd Grade: A Golden Age For the "Rubber/Glue" Comeback
of 35 votes, 14% like it
4 of 5 Insane Doctors Regularly Prescribe The Silent Treatment.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
4 Out of 5 Doctors Agree That Doctors Agreeing Means Nothing
of 48 votes, 17% like it
4 Out of 5 Doctors Agree That You Do Not Exist.
of 53 votes, 23% like it
4 Out of 5 People Agree That the Most Popular Answer Is Right.
of 47 votes, 30% like it
4 Out of 5 People Prefer Actual Cake to Urinal Cakes.
of 37 votes, 24% like it
5 Out of 5 Dead People Agree That Silence is Golden.
of 35 votes, 17% like it
5 Out Of 5 People Agree They Are Dumb/Don't Listen To Questions.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
5 Out of 5 Zombies Agree: BRAIIIIIIINS!!!!
of 34 votes, 18% like it
90% of the Time I'm Right; 20% of the Time I'm Just Being Ironic.
of 23 votes, 9% like it
A Can Play Two Double-Guitars At Once.
of 23 votes, 9% like it
A Chainsaw Beats Rocks, Paper, Scissors.
of 312 votes, 29% like it
A Chemistree Is Hard To Plant Because Of Its Square Roots.
of 29 votes, 31% like it
A Deer Caught In Headlights Feels A Lot Like This.
of 31 votes, 23% like it
A Dollar Coin is Money That Hasn't Yet Evolved.
of 38 votes, 18% like it
A Fear Of Flying Is Odd Because I Wasn't Aware Humans Could Fly.
of 30 votes, 23% like it
A Fortune Cookie Told Me I'd Change The World One Day. In Bed.
of 42 votes, 36% like it
A Friend of My Cousin's Sister Created All the Urban Legends
of 46 votes, 24% like it
A Hitman Comedian Slays His Audience Every Night
of 39 votes, 13% like it
A Homosapien Is Just a Link on the Chain Towards Floating Brains
of 46 votes, 11% like it
A Key Grip's Real Job is Murdering People For the Director.
of 29 votes, 14% like it
A Lawyer's Favorite Amusement Park Ride Is 'The Loophole'.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
A Leap Of Faith Is Easier To Land If You Plan It All Out First.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
A Librarian Once Gave Me A Speed Reading Ticket.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
A Lifetime of Wrongs Don't Make a Last Rite.
of 34 votes, 18% like it
A Magician's Best Trick Is Making Their Coolness Disappear.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
A Mirror Is Never the Same After Its First Break-Up.
of 37 votes, 27% like it
A Mouse Is Easier To Catch When It's Attached To Your Computer.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
A Ninja's Imaginary Friend Is Easier To Spot Than The Ninja.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
A Once-in-a-Lifetime Miracle Just Happened Behind You.
of 212 votes, 32% like it
A Penny Saved Is Another Penny To Be Lost In The Couch Cushion.
of 35 votes, 29% like it
A Person Who Can Do Almost Everything Can Actually Do Nothing.
of 37 votes, 16% like it
A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Of These Things.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words, A Frame Only An Ellipses.
of 25 votes, 24% like it
A Picture Is Worth More But Not As Cool As This Shirt.
of 16 votes, 6% like it
A Pinky Swear Is Still Considered Cursing.
of 26 votes, 12% like it
A Rap Star's Part-Time Job is Throwing Money At Cameras.
of 27 votes, 11% like it
A RONDAM T-SRIHT PORGARM CMAE UP WTIH TIHS SLOAGN.
of 42 votes, 5% like it
A Rose By Any Other Name Is A Different Flower.
of 21 votes, 33% like it
A Satanist's Worse Fear is Going to Heaven.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
A Smiling Flamethrower is Not a Good Example of Friendly Fire.
of 41 votes, 10% like it
A Store's Penny Tray Can Buy You A Lifetime Supply Of Thoughts.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
A Ton of Falling Bricks Are Really Good at Flattery.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
A Vampire's Least Favorite Food Is Stake.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
A Vomitorium is NOT What It Sounds Like.
of 44 votes, 5% like it
A Vulcan Serial Killer is Psycho Logical.
of 33 votes, 9% like it
A Waffle Iron Makes Your Shirt All Sticky.
of 41 votes, 20% like it
A Wrinkle In Time Caused The Cosmos To Get A Face-Lift.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
A Wrinkle in Time Needs to Be Ironed Properly.
of 38 votes, 34% like it
ABRACADABRA!: The Ultimate Curse Word.
of 31 votes, 13% like it
Achieving Immortality Is A Cause Worth Dying For
of 106 votes, 17% like it
ACHIEVING IMMORTALITY: Finally, A Cause Worth Dying For.
of 40 votes, 13% like it
Acrobats Do Cartwheels in Their Graves Instead of Spinning.
of 16 votes, 6% like it
Act 1: U Read Shirt Act 2: U Are Confused Act 3: U Get the Joke!
of 27 votes, 15% like it
Action Movies Are In Need Of Some Hugs & A Poetry Reading.
of 27 votes, 22% like it
Action Movies Have Explosions, Thrillers Have Dancing Zombies.
of 36 votes, 36% like it
Action Movies Speak Louder Than Critic's Blurbs.
of 45 votes, 9% like it
Actions Speak Louder Than Words Only To Insane People.
of 20 votes, 30% like it
ADD. It's as Easy as One, Two, Trees.
of 28 votes, 14% like it
Addition Signs Are Really Two Lines Gettin' It On.
of 32 votes, 13% like it
Adjectives Are Quite Wonderful, Delightful, Fantastic.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
Admiring Rainbows Doesn't Neccassarily Make You A Gay Leprechaun.
of 151 votes, 38% like it
Admit It, You Were Hoping This Shirt Was About You, Weren't You?
of 34 votes, 18% like it
Adorable, Fluffy Kittens Wanted For Useless & Painful Experiments
of 66 votes, 21% like it
Adventurous Musicians Love to Bar Hop.
of 41 votes, 7% like it
Adverbs Are Astronomically, Unimaginably, Fantastically Cool.
of 34 votes, 24% like it
After Building a Middle School, Some Assemblies Are Required.
of 48 votes, 25% like it
After Exercising, I Can Open Up My Own Sweat Shop.
of 39 votes, 15% like it
After Much Soul Searching, I Hired a Detective Agency To Find It.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
After Much Soul Searching, I Remembered It Was Under the Car Seat
of 47 votes, 36% like it
After Reading This, Whatever I Say Has GOT To Be More Clever.
of 46 votes, 13% like it
After Reading This, Your Eyes Will Self-Destruct In 3,2,1...
of 32 votes, 13% like it
against all odds, my heart remains as open as a child's eyes.
of 21 votes, 5% like it
Air Ducts are Quite Good at Venting Their Frustrations
of 39 votes, 10% like it
Air Has a Monopoly on the Entire Breathing Marketplace.
of 38 votes, 26% like it
Air Pollution Is Really Us Giving the Earth a Sinus Infection.
of 36 votes, 19% like it
Aliens Are Always Looking Down On Earthlings.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
Aliens Are So Xenophobic.
of 51 votes, 14% like it
Aliens Eat Their Dinners on Saucers
of 88 votes, 14% like it
All A Volcano Needs Is A Hot Spa Treatment To Settle Down.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
All Atlantis Needed Was a Really Good Plumber
of 202 votes, 34% like it
All I Got From the Boston Tee Party Was This Lousy Shirt.
of 36 votes, 14% like it
All I Hear Are Charlie Brown's Trombone Parents When You Talk
of 28 votes, 4% like it
All It Takes Is One Power Pellet To Rid A Haunted House Of Ghosts
of 17 votes, 12% like it
All My Favorite Videogame Plumbers Travel At Warp Speed.
of 27 votes, 41% like it
All Of The Funniest T-Shirts Weren't On Sale.
of 19 votes, 37% like it
All Stereotypes Have Stupid Looking Letters
of 52 votes, 6% like it
All the People Who Speak in Absolutes Make Me Sick.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
All the Personalities In My Head Use Their Inside Voices
of 36 votes, 19% like it
All The World's A Stage, But I Have Terrible Stage Fright.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
All This Pointless Violence in Life Makes Me Wanna Break Things.
of 42 votes, 17% like it
All Those Stolen Glances At Me Could Wind You Up in the Slammer.
of 48 votes, 15% like it
Alternative Energy Sources Are Grungy And Wear Too Much Flannel.
of 25 votes, 24% like it
Always Eat Your Vegetables, But Never Eat A Mushroom Cloud.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
Always Question Advice You Read Off Of T-Shirts.
of 32 votes, 9% like it
Always Trust Ur Instincts, Unless They Tell You To Punch a Zebra.
of 85 votes, 34% like it
Always Trust Your Instincts, Unless They Tell U To Punch a Zebra
of 123 votes, 16% like it
Am I Going Insane, Or is That Just a Bunch of Crazy Talk?
of 54 votes, 15% like it
Am I the ONLY One Still Using Friendster?!?!?!
of 21 votes, 0% like it
Am I the ONLY One Still Using Kazaa?!?!?!?
of 21 votes, 5% like it
Americans and Mexicans Agree: 'No' Means 'No'!
of 39 votes, 21% like it
An Air Gun Is The Best Way To Hunt Dust Bunnies.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
An Apple a Day Keeps Adam and Eve in Eternal Sin.
of 42 votes, 29% like it
An Artichoke Warns You Right In Its Name Not To Eat It.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
An Asteroid Belt Makes A Fashionable Planetary Accessory.
of 34 votes, 26% like it
An Avalanche is Really Mountain Dandruff
of 38 votes, 13% like it
An Eye For An Eye Isn't So Bad If You're Into Eyepatch Fashion.
of 36 votes, 39% like it
Ancient Rome is Totally Ruined.
of 44 votes, 20% like it
And that's how fireworks are made.
of 30 votes, 7% like it
Anecdote Me.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
Angel/Devil Couples Have Extremely Long-Distance Relationships.
of 22 votes, 32% like it
Angels Not Old Enough For the Real Thing Play Harp Hero.
of 14 votes, 7% like it
Angry Sentences Make Cross Words.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
Annoyed at the hardcore penetration of sexual innuendo on shirts
of 26 votes, 8% like it
Anti-Pasta Salads Are Biased Against Rigatoni.
of 53 votes, 9% like it
Any Car Can Be a Compact If You Hit Enough Trees.
of 48 votes, 33% like it
Any Minefields Are Now Considered Yourfields.
of 34 votes, 29% like it
Apathetic People, Wave Ur Hands in the Air Like U Just Don't Care
of 46 votes, 20% like it
Archaeologists Have Lots Of Bones To Pick.
of 31 votes, 23% like it
Architects Construct Ideas; Philosophers Deconstruct Ideas.
of 38 votes, 21% like it
Are "Fun Size" Candy Portions Trying To Be Ironic?
of 17 votes, 18% like it
Are the Men With Nets From the Booby Hatch Gone Yet?
of 25 votes, 4% like it
Are We Too Dependant On Technology? Click Your Mouse Once For Yes
of 26 votes, 27% like it
Are You Hearing Voices In Your Head While Reading This?
of 39 votes, 18% like it
Aren't Rhetorical Questions Awesome?
of 50 votes, 12% like it
Arm Bands Never Break a Sweat While They Rock Out.
of 18 votes, 6% like it
Arrows Are So Pushy, Always Telling You Which Way To Go.
of 35 votes, 29% like it
Arrows On One Way Signs Aren't The Boss Of Me.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
Art is the Alternative Energy Power Source I Thrive On.
of 32 votes, 22% like it
Art Museums Are Worth A Million Words.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
Artists Are Always Broke From Overdrawing Their Bank Accounts.
of 35 votes, 20% like it
Artists Are So Broke Because Their Bank Accounts Are Overdrawn.
of 23 votes, 13% like it
Artists Build Their Homes Out of Construction Paper.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
As Opposed to Men, the Earth Gets Bigger the Colder it Becomes.
of 41 votes, 17% like it
As Time Has Shown Us, Flava Flav Was Obviously the Talented One.
of 47 votes, 17% like it
Ask Me About My Love For Answering Questions
of 42 votes, 24% like it
Ask Me About My Love Of Talking.
of 27 votes, 30% like it
Ask Me For Directions to the Secret Warp Door.
of 23 votes, 13% like it
Aspiring Clergymen Who Climb Up the Ranks Wear Cross-Trainers.
of 34 votes, 15% like it
Aspiring Priests Like to Jog in Cross-Trainers
of 53 votes, 19% like it
Asterisks Are So Motherf**king Awesome!
of 66 votes, 33% like it
Astronauts Are Constantly Breaking the Law of Gravity.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
Astronauts Are Only In It For the Free Parachute Ride.
of 53 votes, 32% like it
Astronauts Would Hate It If Their Shuttle Was A Secret Missile.
of 31 votes, 32% like it
Astronomers Are Only Watching Stars Undress From Their Telescopes
of 46 votes, 20% like it
Astronomers Are the Peeping Toms of the Galaxy
of 37 votes, 24% like it
At Least Look Me In the Eye When You're Staring At Me.
of 33 votes, 18% like it
At Least Look Me in the Eye While You're Reading My Shirt.
of 45 votes, 24% like it
At Least My Emotional Baggage Has Really Cute Love Handles.
of 38 votes, 34% like it
At Least Pollution Turns Our Water Supplies Pretty Colors.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
At This Stage of My Life, I'm Only a Mildly Perturbed Scientist.
of 44 votes, 30% like it
At Times, My Grandfather Clock Forgets Where To Put His Hands.
of 39 votes, 21% like it
At Times, My Grandfather Clock Forgets Where To Put Its Hands.
of 38 votes, 16% like it
Atari E.T. Record Holder For Most Time Spent Stuck in a Hole
of 24 votes, 4% like it
Athlete's Foot Is Not As Bad As Missle Toe.
of 2 votes, 50% like it
Athlete's Foot Is Not Nearly As Painful As Missle Toe.
of 34 votes, 29% like it
Atoms Split When Their Relationships Are Going Nowhere.
of 41 votes, 37% like it
Awesome Chase Sequence Needed For a Future Film About My Life
of 145 votes, 17% like it
Babble-On Was the Ancient City of Talk Show Hosts.
of 38 votes, 24% like it
Babies: Give Them a Little Time, and They'll Grow on You.
of 50 votes, 24% like it
Baby Astronauts Sometimes Need Boosters For Their Rocket Seats.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
Baby Birds Looking Through Windows from Treetops Are Peeping.
of 34 votes, 6% like it
Baby Cameras Love to Play With Dollies.
of 40 votes, 5% like it
Baby Talk is a Universal Language.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
Back In My Day We Only Had T-Shirts With Words On Them.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
Back in My Day, Slogans Were Only Made For Billboards!
of 29 votes, 21% like it
Badminton Pros Love To Skillfully Finesse Their Shuttlecock
of 39 votes, 13% like it
Baked Alaska Is A Delicious Global Warming Dinner Treat.
of 26 votes, 15% like it
Baking Soda Only Comes In One Flavor: Disgusting.
of 18 votes, 6% like it
Ban Leprechaun Poaching. Rainbows Are Endangered!
of 8 votes, 13% like it
Ban Words On Shirts! Also, More Irony On Tees Please!
of 24 votes, 21% like it
Banding Together & Attacking Humans is For 'The Birds'.
of 38 votes, 21% like it
Banks Are Such Loaners.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
Banks With Only One Branch Are Such Loaners.
of 46 votes, 20% like it
Bartender, The Philosophy Major's Glass Is Half Empty, Fill It Up
of 23 votes, 22% like it
Baseball Diamonds Are Really Hard To Wear On Your Finger.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
Bathrooms Celebrate Birthdays With Urinal Cakes.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
Be A Non-Conformist. Don't Listen to What Simon Says.
of 37 votes, 22% like it
Be a Widescreen Personality In a Pan-And-Scan World.
of 13 votes, 8% like it
Be Careful of Deer Droppings From the Sky During Christmas Time.
of 54 votes, 26% like it
Be Like a Meteor Shower and Make Daily Impacts.
of 48 votes, 13% like it
Be The First One To Yawn To Be A Leader, Not A Follower.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
Bear Traps Are For Capturing Real Bears, I Use Picnic Baskets.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
Bears In Fairy Tales Live In Nicer Houses Than I Do.
of 54 votes, 39% like it
Beck is a Scientologist. Now I'm Scared.
of 48 votes, 6% like it
Bees Don't Have To Drink Much To Get A Buzz.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
Before Gravity Was Invented, It Was Very Hard Finding Your House.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
Being A Breadwinner Is Fun, But I Prefer Getting Paid In Money.
of 76 votes, 39% like it
Being A Human Cannonball Isn't So Bad Until The Pirates Attack.
of 25 votes, 32% like it
Being a Sinner Gets You Front Row Tickets to the Armageddon Show.
of 53 votes, 15% like it
Being Bit By a Zombie Is Only a Flesh Wound.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
Being Clinically Insane Means Never Having to Say "I'm Sorry
of 39 votes, 15% like it
Being In The Lap Of Luxury Is Actually Kind Of Creepy.
of 26 votes, 27% like it
Being Irony-Deficient is the Number One Killer of Good Jokes
of 39 votes, 18% like it
Being Known As The Class Clown In Clown College Is A High Honor.
of 30 votes, 23% like it
Being Lazy Sounds Like A lot Of Work.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
Being Mentally Challenged Every Day Keeps Your Brain In Shape.
of 35 votes, 29% like it
Being Sleep Deprived is Like Going to a Funhouse For Free.
of 13 votes, 8% like it
Bess Don't Have To Drink Much To Get A Buzz.
of 2 votes, 0% like it
Bet You Can't Make a New Word That Isn't Already in the Alphabet
of 37 votes, 5% like it
Betsy Ross Made a 'Blinged-Out' Version of the Flag As Well.
of 18 votes, 11% like it
Betsy Ross Recieved Plenty of Gold Stars From Her Teachers.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Between The Civil And Rap Wars, All Of America Has Seen Battle.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Big Fires in Winter Can Give You 3rd Degree Freezer Burns.
of 16 votes, 6% like it
Bike Salesmen Pedal Their Wares All Over the Place.
of 45 votes, 13% like it
Bill Gates's Home is Quietly Plotting to Take Over the World
of 50 votes, 8% like it
Bill Gates's House = Intellectual Property
of 44 votes, 2% like it
Birds Are Not Impressed By My Flying Superpowers.
of 33 votes, 27% like it
Birds That Go Skydiving Aren't As Extreme As It Sounds.
of 46 votes, 22% like it
Black Holes Could Really Use Some Color From The Sun.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
Blink Your Left Eye Once If You Like To Wink.
of 30 votes, 30% like it
Blowholes Are Like Living Water Fountains.
of 31 votes, 35% like it
Bo Knows How to Disappear From the Spotlight
of 3 votes, 0% like it
Bo Knows No Longer.
of 18 votes, 6% like it
Board Games Have Made Me Expect Money Around Parking Spaces.
of 37 votes, 19% like it
Bogeymen Enjoy the Nightlife.
of 34 votes, 18% like it
Boobs: The Best Proof Against the World Not Being Flat.
of 33 votes, 18% like it
Booby Hatch Escapee
of 41 votes, 0% like it
Bookmarks Are Like Prisoners Kept Inside a Paper Jail Cell.
of 1 votes, 100% like it
Bookmarks Are Like Prisoners Kept Inside Paper Jail Cells.
of 40 votes, 28% like it
Books That Are Spineless Fall Apart Under Pressure.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
Books Written In Body Language Don't Translate Very Well.
of 52 votes, 38% like it
Books: They're Just Like This Only Longer.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
Bookworms Read Too Much Into Things.
of 46 votes, 37% like it
Boomerang Throwing Stars Cut the Number of Ninjas in Half.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
Boomerang Throwing Stars Never Caught On in the Ninja Community.
of 42 votes, 29% like it
Boomerang Throwing Stars Was The Ninja Class Clown's Downfall.
of 29 votes, 24% like it
Bosses Perfect Their Downsizing Skills At Firing Ranges.
of 53 votes, 11% like it
Both Men And Women Have Balls, It's Just In Their Eyes.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
Both Tennis Players And Pimps Need To Work On Their Backhand.
of 40 votes, 33% like it
Bottomless Pits Are Even Scarier When They Go Topless.
of 51 votes, 35% like it
Bow-Chicka-Wow!
of 35 votes, 9% like it
Boxers Tell The Best Punchlines.
of 33 votes, 15% like it
Brains Can Be So Thoughtless.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
Brains: The Thinking Person's Organ of Choice.
of 31 votes, 19% like it
Break The Rules So Hard They Can't Be Glued Back Together.
of 37 votes, 35% like it
Breast Reductions Can Lead To Long-Term Mammary Loss.
of 42 votes, 24% like it
Broken Mirrors Aren't All They're Cracked Up To Be.
of 35 votes, 20% like it
Broken Televisions Have Bad Self-Image Problems.
of 37 votes, 11% like it
Bruises Are The New Black & Blue.
of 24 votes, 25% like it
Bug Zapping is Inhumane, I Prefer Fly Lethal Injection.
of 39 votes, 18% like it
Building a Highway So My Ideas Don't Hurt As They Go Over Ur Head
of 38 votes, 11% like it
Bulls and Bears Are Nature's Monetary Experts.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
But I Already Quit My Day Job! Now What Do I Do?
of 28 votes, 25% like it
By Chuckling At This Tee, My Laughing Stock Goes Up in Value.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
By My Calculations, You Should Be Done Reading This Slogan...NOW.
of 34 votes, 29% like it
By Reading This Shirt You Are Now Legally Required To Laugh.
of 31 votes, 32% like it
By Reading This Shirt You Have Consented To Do My Laundry
of 104 votes, 17% like it
By Reading This You Are Now a Member of My Fan Club.
of 38 votes, 24% like it
By Reading This You've Just Triggered My Shirt's Silent Alarm.
of 34 votes, 21% like it
Cache Moves Everything Around Me.
of 32 votes, 13% like it
Camp Fires Are Like Miniature Versions Of Hell For Marshmallows.
of 49 votes, 29% like it
Campfire Storytelling: The Original HDTV.
of 32 votes, 28% like it
Can I Get You To Stop Correcting My Grammar?
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Can We Bring Metaphors Back to Rap Music PLEASE?
of 21 votes, 5% like it
Can We Just Round Up to 3.15 And Be Done With It?
of 52 votes, 15% like it
Can You Age Grapes Into Wine Faster By Worrying Them?
of 23 votes, 17% like it
Candlestick Jumping: The Fairy Tale Extreme Sport Of Choice.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
Canine Cannibals Agree It's A Dog Eat Dog World.
of 35 votes, 31% like it
Capricorn = Unicorns Made Of Candy Corn.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
Care To Conspire On a Theory With Me?
of 31 votes, 19% like it
Careful Not To Get Waterlogged By The Size Of My Brainwaves.
of 36 votes, 11% like it
Careful of Theoretical Debris When Near a Deconstruction Site.
of 46 votes, 22% like it
Careful, I Spilled An Entire Soda On My Last Magic Carpet Drive.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
Careless Artists Overdraw Their Bank Accounts.
of 30 votes, 27% like it
Carmen Sandiego Funds Terrorism
of 31 votes, 10% like it
Cars Run On Expensive Gas While My Body Runs On Feet.
of 63 votes, 35% like it
Castles Invented Moats To Keep Out People Like Me.
of 40 votes, 13% like it
Catapults: Just Like Trampolines, But Only Needs One Jump.
of 20 votes, 10% like it
Cats Are Glad They Live In A Dog Eat Dog World.
of 47 votes, 36% like it
Cats Are Tired Of Your Pus*y Jokes.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Cats Create Things From Scratch.
of 50 votes, 26% like it
Cats Who Love Videogames Have Eight 1Ups.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
Cemeteries Are Just Future Zombie Zoos.
of 21 votes, 33% like it
CEO & Chairman of the Bored
of 44 votes, 16% like it
Chain Smokers Have Rusty Teeth.
of 35 votes, 34% like it
Chain Wallets Demand Their Freedom From Your Pants NOW!
of 40 votes, 15% like it
Charming Zombies Are Such Man-Eaters.
of 30 votes, 17% like it
Cheaters Are Only Cheating Themselves. To Higher Grades.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
Check Your Ego At The Door. Also, Your Coat.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
Chef Salad: Also Called 'Cannibal's Delight' In Some Circles.
of 14 votes, 21% like it
Chickens Are Not Too Happy About Being The Most Popular Taste.
of 39 votes, 36% like it
Child Temper Tantrums Were The Original Stress Release Therapy.
of 24 votes, 8% like it
Children Are A Great Midnight Snack. Wait, Is This Shirt On?
of 35 votes, 20% like it
Chinese Pillow Fight Torture: Not as Painful as the Alternative.
of 47 votes, 11% like it
Choose Clarinets Not Bayonets
of 272 votes, 19% like it
ChristmaHanuKwanzica Sounds Like A Scientologist Holiday
of 41 votes, 10% like it
Circles Are Good People, But They've Got No Edge To Them.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
Circles Are Terrible Square Dancers.
of 19 votes, 26% like it
Circles Sleep Around.
of 23 votes, 39% like it
Circles: You Wouldn't Like Them When They're Angle-y.
of 29 votes, 14% like it
Civil War Reenactments Are Like a Lazy Man's Time Travel.
of 55 votes, 29% like it
Clark Kent Gets All His Fast Food Super-Sized.
of 34 votes, 18% like it
Clever Shirts Are Easy. Boring Tees Take Guts To Wear.
of 30 votes, 27% like it
Cliche T-Shirts Are Like A Dime A Dozen.
of 31 votes, 19% like it
Cliff Diving: Because Even Rock Formations Need Extreme Sports.
of 39 votes, 38% like it
Cliffs Diving: The Extreme Sport That Skips to the Good Parts.
of 37 votes, 5% like it
Climbing Beanstalks: Not As Much Fun As Stories Make It Out To Be
of 14 votes, 14% like it
Clocks Have Too Much Time on Their Hands.
of 45 votes, 33% like it
Cloning Isn't Always Perfect. Cloning Isn't Always Prefect.
of 17 votes, 35% like it
Cloning Makes It Way More Fun to Play With Myself.
of 59 votes, 32% like it
Cloning Presents Is The Gift That Keeps On Giving.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
Cloning Someone Doesn't Take Much Originality.
of 50 votes, 26% like it
Clothes Make Me Suspicious About What Your Body's Hiding From Me.
of 31 votes, 26% like it
Clouds Are Nature's Warplanes Trying To Bomb Us With Acid Rain.
of 26 votes, 15% like it
Clown College is No Laughing Matter.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
Clumsy DJ's Drop Mad Beats.
of 26 votes, 8% like it
Cobra Hates Us For Our Freedom.
of 62 votes, 24% like it
Colonel Sanders And General Tso Engage In World-Wide Food Fights.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
Colors That Run Live Longer Than Those That Don't.
of 45 votes, 29% like it
Coming Next Olympics: The Short & Long Distance Relationship
of 57 votes, 33% like it
Coming Soon: The Future! Now Our Feature Presentation:The Present
of 41 votes, 32% like it
Commercials Are Just Super-Sexy Mind Control.
of 36 votes, 33% like it
Computer Minesweeper is a Secret Army Recruitment Tool!
of 47 votes, 15% like it
Computer Nerds Like To Be Paid in Cache.
of 39 votes, 23% like it
Computer Nerds Like You To Pay Them in Cache.
of 3 votes, 0% like it
Con Artists Are Such Negative Illustrators.
of 27 votes, 22% like it
Confucius Say Wisdom Sounds Better After a Belly Full of Wontons.
of 23 votes, 9% like it
ConFusion: A Questionable Energy Source That Produces Lots Of Fog
of 32 votes, 25% like it
Conjunctions Are a Major Pain in the As.
of 35 votes, 17% like it
Conjunctions Are Such a Pain in the As.
of 2 votes, 50% like it
CONTENTS: 99% Sarcasm, 1% Twinkies
of 53 votes, 17% like it
Continually Fielding Questions For My Imaginary Press Conference
of 40 votes, 13% like it
Cookies Cutters Think Humans Are All The Same Too.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
Cooperation Means Others Working Together To Do Exactly As I Say.
of 42 votes, 21% like it
Cooties: The Only Made-Up Virus Less Deadly Than The Real Ones.
of 34 votes, 26% like it
Corn on the Cobweb Is Not As Tasty As It Sounds.
of 14 votes, 21% like it
Corny Jokes Are A Good Source Of Vegetables.
of 14 votes, 36% like it
Cows Pass Dairy Air
of 17 votes, 0% like it
Crack Isn't Nearly As Tasty As Snap, Crackle Or Pop.
of 19 votes, 32% like it
Crack: The Most Addictive Of All Onomatopoeia.
of 26 votes, 15% like it
Crap! I Just Saw a Pig Flying Through the Air. Now What?
of 46 votes, 11% like it
Crap! My Psychology is Stuck in Reverse.
of 15 votes, 7% like it
Crickets Are the Only Ones Who Get The Punchlines Of My Jokes.
of 35 votes, 14% like it
Criminals Who Are Bad At Grammar Receive Run-On Sentences.
of 29 votes, 17% like it
Crip Vampires Are Always on a Hunt For Bloods.
of 42 votes, 12% like it
Crossing a Milestone Means It's a Mile Walk Back As Well.
of 34 votes, 12% like it
Cruise Missles: The Chilled-Out Showboats of Heavy Artillery.
of 17 votes, 6% like it
Crunk Bears From the South Go Into Hyphynation in the Winter.
of 35 votes, 9% like it
Cubicles = Voluntary Jail Cells With Internet Access.
of 33 votes, 24% like it
Cupid Showed Me Tough Love With a Scalping After the Arrow Hit.
of 16 votes, 0% like it
Cupid Shows Me Tough Love.
of 30 votes, 17% like it
Curiosity Museums Are Like Cat Death Traps.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
Currently Evolving
of 346 votes, 29% like it
Currently Hanging On To Reality By A Pinky Toe
of 21 votes, 0% like it
Currently Warming Myself With the Blood of My Broken Heart
of 21 votes, 5% like it
Curse Words Are Nothing to Swear By
of 44 votes, 20% like it
Curse Words Are Nothing To Swear By, Dammit!
of 49 votes, 12% like it
Curse Words Are Nothing to Swear By.
of 38 votes, 16% like it
Curse Words. They're Nothing to Swear By.
of 39 votes, 18% like it
Cute - As - a - Buttonhole.
of 22 votes, 5% like it
Cute and Fuzzy Feelings Cause Global Warming
of 125 votes, 26% like it
Cute-As-a-Buttonhole.
of 2 votes, 0% like it
Daddy, Where Did All the Native Americans Go?
of 61 votes, 18% like it
DAGNABBIT!!!!!
of 38 votes, 5% like it
Daisies Are Always Being Picked On.
of 30 votes, 17% like it
Dancing in a Congo Line Might Get You Malaria.
of 33 votes, 9% like it
Daredevil Vampires Sleep Inside Greenhouses During the Day.
of 26 votes, 12% like it
Dating Water Vapor Is Boring Because It Lacks Substance.
of 19 votes, 5% like it
Davey Jones Foot Locker Smells Like Dirty Socks & Dead Fish.
of 48 votes, 10% like it
Daydreams Are Just The Previews For Sleep's Feature Presentation.
of 41 votes, 32% like it
Daylight Savings Return to Normal Prices When the Sun Goes Down.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
Dead Hands Come Back To Life As Spirit Fingers.
of 52 votes, 17% like it
Dear Gravity, Thanks For Making Roller Coasters Awesome!
of 20 votes, 25% like it
Dear Gravity, Thanks For The Water Slides And Roller Coasters!
of 33 votes, 24% like it
Dear Mr. Rap Star, I Get You're a "Hustla", But Can U Rhyme?
of 31 votes, 10% like it
Dear Quadruple Spacing, Thanks For Making 20 Page Papers Possible
of 18 votes, 11% like it
Dear Sun, You Light Up My Life. (uv letter fill in)
of 42 votes, 36% like it
Death is Just a Gate Way to Heaven.
of 26 votes, 8% like it
Death Metal Band Seeks Ukelele Player
of 164 votes, 23% like it
Death Squads Execute Their Jobs With Precision.
of 43 votes, 14% like it
Deer Are Just Trying To Win A Staring Contest With Your Car.
of 21 votes, 33% like it
Deer Are Nature's Car Bombs.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Deer Are Taking Over the Planet, One Carload At a Time.
of 33 votes, 3% like it
Demolition And Home Run Derbies Are Much More Fun When Combined.
of 34 votes, 32% like it
Deserts Wouldn't Be As Bad If They Had Sand Bars.
of 14 votes, 29% like it
Designers Garden By Cropping Their Photos.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
Despite Their Name, Catepillars Can't Support As Much As A Column
of 34 votes, 15% like it
Deus Ex Machina: Greek For "Really Lame Movie Ending"
of 28 votes, 21% like it
Dictionary (n): 1. The Thing You Are Reading Right Now, Dummy.
of 45 votes, 9% like it
Did Monks Give Their Parents the Silent Treatment?
of 30 votes, 20% like it
Did Slow Motion Kick In When You Saw Me Walking Towards You?
of 46 votes, 22% like it
Did You Ever Notice That Most Observational Humor Isn't Funny?
of 45 votes, 20% like it
Did You Know That 10 Out of 3 People Are Dyslexic?
of 119 votes, 17% like it
Didn't Your Mother Ever Teach You It's Not Polite To Stare?
of 28 votes, 21% like it
Diet Food Tastes Better When You Eat Several Pounds of It.
of 34 votes, 26% like it
Digital Music is the .WAV of the Future!
of 53 votes, 23% like it
Dinosaur Party At My House! No Raptors Though, They Get Too Rowdy
of 25 votes, 32% like it
Do Airplanes Ever Chase Their Own Tails?
of 43 votes, 37% like it
Do New Magicians Saw People in Half Before They Get It Right?
of 48 votes, 19% like it
Do Not Attempt a Cannonball Into a Pool Table.
of 39 votes, 18% like it
Do Not Bring Chips and Salsa to a Search Party.
of 30 votes, 33% like it
Do Not Jump Out of a Window While Wearing a Flight Jacket.
of 32 votes, 3% like it
Do Not Look At Spot To Run If He Resides On The Sun.
of 23 votes, 9% like it
Do Not Look At Spot To Run If It Resides On The Sun.
of 4 votes, 25% like it
DO NOT READ THIS SHIRT! Uh-Oh... *world explodes*
of 18 votes, 22% like it
Do Not Sign On the Dotted Line When It's In the Middle of a Road.
of 34 votes, 26% like it
Do Not Try These Stunts at Home. Go Out in Traffic First.
of 38 votes, 21% like it
Do Not Use a Cacti As Your Pillow When Sleeping in a Flower Bed.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
Do People Who Believe in Self-Sacrifice Belong To Secret Cults?
of 22 votes, 23% like it
Do Stars Wish Upon Themselves?
of 33 votes, 18% like it
Do What I Say Or Else I'm Gonna Issue More Idle Threats.
of 19 votes, 37% like it
Do You Always Read People's Chests Before Saying Hello To Them?
of 40 votes, 20% like it
Do You Have a Spare Ninja Star I Could Borrow?
of 63 votes, 16% like it
Do You Have an Outlet I Can Stick This Metal Spork Into?
of 42 votes, 26% like it
Do You Keep Secrets? Well Hand 'Em Over, This is a Stick Up!
of 26 votes, 4% like it
Do You Like Throwing Money in Videos? You Too Can Be a Rap Star!
of 21 votes, 5% like it
DO YOU READ ME LOUD AND CLEAR?
of 22 votes, 14% like it
Do You Want To Be An Individual? Hey, Join the Club.
of 34 votes, 38% like it
Does Being Short-Sighted Mean You Can Only See Little People?
of 45 votes, 29% like it
Does Driving A Sports Car Count As Being an Athlete?
of 28 votes, 36% like it
Does My Chest REALLY Have to Entertain You?
of 41 votes, 12% like it
Does My Soul Look Too Big in This Shirt?
of 29 votes, 24% like it
Does Nature Look At Science And Go 'I Shoulda Thought Of That!'
of 18 votes, 22% like it
Does the Human Wearing Me Make Me Look Too Stretched Out?
of 31 votes, 26% like it
Does The Sun Ever Want To Stand In The Shade From Itself?
of 18 votes, 17% like it
Does The Sun Run On Oil or Solar Power?
of 38 votes, 39% like it
Dogs Could Read Books If You Translated Them Into Barks.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
Dogs: They Hate Cats and Play Lots of Poker.
of 40 votes, 18% like it
Domesticated Animals Are Really Into Heavy Petting.
of 35 votes, 14% like it
Don't Beat Yourself Up So Much. Here, Let Me Do It.
of 46 votes, 26% like it
Don't Blame Me. I'm Just the Group's Hype Man.
of 47 votes, 9% like it
DON'T CALL ME PARANOID! You Did Just Call Me That, Right?
of 41 votes, 29% like it
Don't Eat Yellow Snow. Unless You Find Some In The Desert.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
Don't Even Think About Yawning After Reading This.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
Don't Judge the Old Lady Until You've Walked a Mile To Her Shoe.
of 43 votes, 14% like it
Don't Just Take My Word For How Awesome I Am. Read the Shirt!
of 32 votes, 16% like it
Don't Let the Musical Chairs in the Mosh Pit.
of 51 votes, 10% like it
Don't Let the Person Wearing This Know I've Gone. Thanks, Slogan
of 29 votes, 17% like it
Don't Make Any Waves In Life. Strive For Tsunamis.
of 26 votes, 31% like it
Don't Make Waves In Life. Strive For Tsunamis.
of 31 votes, 35% like it
Don't Tell Humpty Dumpty Any Jokes Or He'll Crack Up.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
Don't Tell My Patients, But I Called Out Sick From Work Today.
of 37 votes, 14% like it
Don't Use Double-Negative Reverse Psychology on Me.
of 50 votes, 32% like it
Don't Walk Signs Say Nothing About Rolling Across The Street.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
Don't Worry, I Only Murder People When I'm On Vacation.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
Don't Yell "Who's Your Daddy?" At Jesus. God Will Smit
of 1 votes, 0% like it
Don't You Hate When T-Shirt Slogans Waste Your Time?
of 28 votes, 18% like it
Drag Racing's Main Event: The Cross-Country Cross-Dressing Relay.
of 19 votes, 5% like it
Drinking Scotch Tape Will Not Get You Drunk.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
Drop Knowledge Not Names.
of 31 votes, 26% like it
Dropping a Wine Bottle Breaks My Spirits.
of 42 votes, 19% like it
Drums Are Getting Sick and Tired of Always Being Beaten.
of 42 votes, 19% like it
Drums Are Sick and Tired of Being Beaten.
of 83 votes, 31% like it
Duelists Don't Run For Exercise, They Pace.
of 39 votes, 15% like it
Dust Bunnies Are Easier To Trap Around Easter Time.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
DYSFUNCTION: A Game The Whole Family Can Play!
of 35 votes, 29% like it
Ear Drums Are Very Difficult To Bang On and Not Break
of 41 votes, 17% like it
Earth Day Is Now Known As 'Help Mankind Survive Another Year' Day
of 46 votes, 13% like it
Eat your mushrooms and veggies to grow up big like Mario
of 30 votes, 13% like it
Eating Angel Hair Pasta Is a Creepy Way To Get Closer To Heaven.
of 30 votes, 20% like it
Eating Candy You Took From A Baby Tastes All The More Sweet.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
Eating Too Many Magic Beans Makes You Fart Beanstalks.
of 26 votes, 19% like it
Ebony and Irony
of 21 votes, 5% like it
Economic Innuendo Highly Stimulates A Rising Marketplace.
of 25 votes, 16% like it
Economy Time Travel Stinks When Have A Layover In Medieval Ages.
of 31 votes, 26% like it
Eeep Op Ork Ah-Ah: That Means I Love U
of 34 votes, 12% like it
Electric Eels: The Lightning Bolts Of The Sea.
of 30 votes, 23% like it
Electrical Transformers Are Much Less Fun To Play With.
of 50 votes, 18% like it
Electrical Transformers Aren't As Fun To Play With As They Sound.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
Electrical Transformers Aren't As Much Fun As The Cartoon Show.
of 35 votes, 23% like it
Elevators: Flipping Off Gravity Since 1880.
of 22 votes, 36% like it
Elevators: Giving The Middle Finger To Gravity Since 1880.
of 29 votes, 28% like it
Elitists Play Air Mandolin.
of 45 votes, 13% like it
End Water Violence By Keeping Swimming Pools Free Of Cannonballs.
of 28 votes, 25% like it
End-Of-The-World Talk Gives the Earth Self-Esteem Issues.
of 33 votes, 24% like it
Ending Human Rule Will Start the Glorious Rise of the Cockroach.
of 28 votes, 14% like it
Ending Poverty Will Bankrupt the Stick & Handkerchief Market!
of 32 votes, 13% like it
Energy Drink Guzzlers Are A Bunch Of Radical X-TREMEists.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
Engrish is My Second Luggage.
of 64 votes, 31% like it
Entertain Yourself, Dammit!
of 23 votes, 9% like it
Environmentalists Vs. The Irish: Who Loves Green The Most?
of 54 votes, 33% like it
Equine Never Follow The 'No Horseplay' Signs.
of 27 votes, 4% like it
esrever ygolohcysp t'nseod .krow
of 1 votes, 0% like it
Eve And Sleeping Beauties Have Convinced Me That Fruit Is Evil.
of 20 votes, 30% like it
Even My Imaginary Friends Steal My Lunch Money.
of 32 votes, 19% like it
Even Paul Reveres Me
of 49 votes, 12% like it
Every Cup You Drink From You've Made Out With. Think About It.
of 13 votes, 23% like it
Every Day is the Start of a New Fact-Finding Expedition.
of 27 votes, 11% like it
Every Once In a While This T-Shirt Throws Out Prizes!
of 58 votes, 24% like it
Every Time I Argue With Mario, He Tries To 1Up Me.
of 30 votes, 10% like it
Every Time I Have Searing Leg Pain, I Get a Sense of Deja Voodoo.
of 34 votes, 21% like it
Every Time It Snows I Feel The Globe Being Shaken Up.
of 18 votes, 6% like it
Every Time You Fall In Love With A Season, It Changes On You.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
Every Time You Make My Heart Race, I Take the Checkered Flag.
of 47 votes, 17% like it
EVERYONE COME OVER AND READ MY SHIRT! (small) i hate crowds.
of 12 votes, 25% like it
Everyone Gets Lost on the Way to My Pants Parties.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
Everyone Gets This Shirt's Joke Except For You.
of 50 votes, 32% like it
Everyone Treats the Apocalypse Like It's the End of the World.
of 50 votes, 26% like it
Everyone's Raving About My Techno Dance Parties!
of 41 votes, 15% like it
Everything's Coming Up Roses, But I'm Allergic to Flowers.
of 31 votes, 10% like it
Everywhere I Stand Will Become a Historical Landmark.
of 37 votes, 19% like it
Evil Skeletons Are Bad To The Bone!
of 23 votes, 22% like it
Exclamation Points Are Just Periods With Levitating Hats!
of 22 votes, 36% like it
Exclamation Points Are Periods With ADD.
of 35 votes, 29% like it
Exclamation Points Gone Wild!!!!!!!!!!
of 45 votes, 24% like it
Exercise Or Time Travel Are The Best Ways To Change Your Life.
of 33 votes, 39% like it
Exploding Stars Are Terrorists Trying To Take Down Our Galaxy!
of 47 votes, 17% like it
Extra Credit Points Are The Equivalent Of Nerd Catnip.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
Eye Lash Out Occasionally
of 47 votes, 13% like it
F**K CENSORSHIP!
of 69 votes, 14% like it
F**K THE POLICE! And Sting's Solo Career as Well!
of 32 votes, 6% like it
FACT: There Is No Such Thing as a True Fact.
of 36 votes, 25% like it
Facts Are Just Theories That Haven't Been Proven Wrong Yet.
of 33 votes, 21% like it
Facts: It's Funny Cause They're True.
of 4 votes, 25% like it
Facts: They're Funny 'Cause It's True.
of 51 votes, 14% like it
Failed Authors Will Make Great Ghost Writers When They Die.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
Falling Asleep Is Easy, Just Recite From A to ZZZ.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
Fantastical Gold Rings Taught Me That All Life is PRECIOUS.
of 34 votes, 15% like it
Fantasy Sports Could Use More Wizards And Orcs.
of 19 votes, 26% like it
Fantasy Sports Leagues Need More Magical Trolls.
of 34 votes, 9% like it
Fashion-Forward Athletes Wear Their Jocks Strapless.
of 29 votes, 21% like it
FEEL THE BURN. Then Run Some More Because Your Gym Is On Fire.
of 29 votes, 10% like it
Feeling Relaxed Today? I Took Your Voodoo Doll To Get A Massage.
of 35 votes, 29% like it
Fetal Is My Best Position To Play In Any Sport.
of 32 votes, 25% like it
Fight Animal Cruelty. Don't Let Kids Play Monkey In The Middle.
of 18 votes, 11% like it
Fight Animal Cruelty: Make Sure Your Pets Can't See You Have Sex.
of 39 votes, 18% like it
Fight Animal Cruelty: Make Sure Your Puppy Can't See You Have Sex
of 84 votes, 15% like it
Fight Depression With Fists and Knives, Not Pills.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
Fight Noise Pollution: Don't Listen to the Radio
of 21 votes, 10% like it
FIGHT THE POWER. Just Make Sure The Electricity Is Turned Off.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
Filmmakers Always Try to Keep it Reel.
of 7 votes, 14% like it
Finding a Haystack In a Needle Is Even Harder To Find.
of 34 votes, 26% like it
FINE!!! I'LL TURN DOWn THe VOLume Of This t-shirt. better?
of 45 votes, 16% like it
Fire Drills Do Not Make Good Home Improvement Tools.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
Fire Drills Make Lousy Home Improvement Tools.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
Fire Must Be Really Dirty Since It Never Takes A Shower.
of 24 votes, 33% like it
Fireworks Believe In Going Out With A Bang.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
Fish Don't Take A Shower In Their Entire Lives.
of 42 votes, 38% like it
Fish Take Only One Shower That Lasts Their Entire Lifetime.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
Flaming Comets Are Just Attention-Seeking Space Rocks.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
Flower Children Must Remain Seeded At All Times.
of 33 votes, 21% like it
Fluent in Ten More Forms of Communication Than C3PO
of 45 votes, 13% like it
Flunked out of finishing school
of 30 votes, 7% like it
Flying By The Seat Of Your Pants Makes For Some Painful Landings.
of 34 votes, 29% like it
Flying Is For The Birds.
of 18 votes, 28% like it
Flying Sounds Fun Unless You Have To Be A Fly To Do It.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
Fog Are Clouds That Never Learned How To Fly.
of 30 votes, 20% like it
Fog Are Just Clouds That Were Given Bad Directions.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
Fog Is Just Clouds That Got Lost on Their Way to the Sky.
of 40 votes, 23% like it
Fog: The Cloud That Didn't Fit in With the Others.
of 47 votes, 26% like it
Folks Who Claim 'You Can't Win Em All' Musta Flunked Stat Class.
of 48 votes, 19% like it
Follow Me to the Insanity Factory!
of 33 votes, 15% like it
Following Others Leads To Nothing.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
Food For Thought Is Good, But Some Water Might Help Too.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
Food For Thought Is Good, But Water Might Help Too.
of 2 votes, 0% like it
Foot-In-Mouth Disease Is Spreading So Please Speak Responsibly.
of 43 votes, 37% like it
For Every Action, There is An Action-Comedy.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
For the Best Medicine, Try Laughtranex.
of 39 votes, 13% like it
Forget About Baby Steps, I Prefer Godzilla Stomps.
of 41 votes, 29% like it
Forget Analog and Digital, I Tell Time By Sundial.
of 44 votes, 39% like it
Forget Nude Beaches, Where Are The Double Parka Ones At?
of 26 votes, 8% like it
Forget Past & Future, I'll Take the Ghost of Christmas Presen
of 2 votes, 100% like it
Forget Ponies, I Want A Unicorn For My Next Birthday.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
Forget Roses, Give The Vegetarian You Love A Dozen Cauliflowers.
of 32 votes, 25% like it
Forget Witches & Wardrobes, Lions Make the Best Roaring Fire
of 43 votes, 7% like it
Former Inmates Rarely Live in Gated Communities.
of 36 votes, 19% like it
Fortified With a Good Daily Balance of Vitamins & Ministers
of 30 votes, 7% like it
Fortunately, Most Vampires Have A Weakness For Stake Sandwiches.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
Fortune Cookies Have '...In Bed', The Internet Has '...com'.
of 23 votes, 4% like it
Forward Thinkers Write Letters on Post-Cards.
of 37 votes, 14% like it
Forward-Thinkers Write Letters on Post-Cards.
of 4 votes, 50% like it
Fractions: Breaking Up Number Families Since the Dawn of Math.
of 55 votes, 38% like it
Freaky Friday Pales in Comparison to Stromboli Saturday.
of 58 votes, 22% like it
Free Readings Given Here! See, That Didn't Cost You Anything.
of 35 votes, 14% like it
Free Your Mind In a Society That Charges You For Everything.
of 40 votes, 18% like it
Fresh Gingerbread Men Turn Me Into a Cookie Serial Killer.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
Freudian Slips Can Injure Your Back.
of 361 votes, 34% like it
FRICKINAWESOME!!!
of 38 votes, 8% like it
Fruit Flies Taste Surprisingly Awful.
of 61 votes, 38% like it
Fruit Roll-Up Factory Employee
of 74 votes, 12% like it
Funny Slogans Are the Energy Drinks of the Sentence Family.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
Futuristic Farmers Grow Their Vegetables On Force Fields.
of 44 votes, 25% like it
Garbage Cans Can Be So Trashy.
of 44 votes, 34% like it
Generals Lead Some Of The Vaguest Armies In The World.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
Generous Donor For the Legalization of Full Contact Ballet
of 23 votes, 4% like it
George W. Bush, Paris Hilton, Toby Keith= Why America is Hated
of 36 votes, 28% like it
Germs Can't Hurt Me If I Haven't Learned About Them Yet.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
Germs Really Make Me Sick!
of 33 votes, 36% like it
Getting A Good Education Is So Old-School.
of 35 votes, 37% like it
Getting Gored by a Unicorn Makes You Bleed Rainbows
of 202 votes, 27% like it
Getting Hit By An Ice Cream Truck Gives Me the Worst Headache.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
Ghost Mob Bosses Are Completely Untouchable.
of 30 votes, 20% like it
Ghost Writing Is A Great Career Option For The Afterlife.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
Ghosts Like Haunting, But They Love To Write Books More.
of 16 votes, 6% like it
Ghosts Mistakenly Make Boo-Boos All The Time.
of 35 votes, 17% like it
Ghosts of Hobos are So Tortured Because They Can't Haunt Indoors.
of 48 votes, 8% like it
Ghosts That Haunt Mansions Enjoy a Nicer Lifestyle Than Me
of 44 votes, 23% like it
Ghosts Who Spend All Their Time Haunting Should Live A Little.
of 44 votes, 25% like it
Giants Spend Too Much Time With Their Head in the Clouds
of 9 votes, 22% like it
Giants Spend Too Much Time With Their Head in the Clouds.
of 7 votes, 43% like it
Gigantic Earth-Colliding Meteors Have Feelings Too.
of 29 votes, 21% like it
Giraffes: Nature's Most Useless Step-Ladder.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
Giving a Taste of My Own Medicine Actually Improves My Health.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
Giving Away 10,000 Bananas To a Monkey Smart Enough to Read This!
of 110 votes, 15% like it
Glaciers Are Just Pirate Ships For Abominable Snowmen.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
Global Warming is For Hot Lovers.
of 44 votes, 20% like it
Global Warming is Nature's Way of Saying 'Get Off My Property!'
of 42 votes, 21% like it
Global Warming Is The Sun's Rage Over The Lightbulb's Invention.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
Global Warming Liars Will Soon Find Their Pants on Fire.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Global Warming vs Nuclear Holocaust: The Battle is On!
of 60 votes, 27% like it
Globes Are Excellent Fantasies of the World If It Wasn't Flat.
of 35 votes, 20% like it
Globes Show Us What the World Would Look Like If It Wasn't Flat.
of 49 votes, 29% like it
Glue: It Brings People Together. And Never Lets Them Go.
of 14 votes, 21% like it
Go Play With a Child's Toy: You Might Learn Something You Missed
of 31 votes, 10% like it
Go To Hell. That's Not An Insult, It's A Travel Suggestion.
of 35 votes, 29% like it
God Smites Those That Taunt Jesus By Yelling "Who's Your Dad
of 3 votes, 33% like it
Godliness Smells Like Lemon-Scented Cleaning Products.
of 49 votes, 35% like it
Going In a Drive-Thru Causes Structural Damage.
of 43 votes, 9% like it
Going On a Power Trip Is Not a Source of Alternative Energy.
of 25 votes, 24% like it
Going To Prison For Illegally Downloading Bananarama
of 86 votes, 16% like it
Gosh Darn Censorship Can Kiss My Tail Feathers!
of 28 votes, 14% like it
Gravity Is Holding Me Back From Reaching The Stars.
of 27 votes, 33% like it
Gravity Is Just A Plot To Keep Us Buying Airplane Tickets.
of 16 votes, 31% like it
Gravity is the First Sign of a Needy Planet
of 220 votes, 34% like it
Gravity Might Make You Fall, But It Also Makes Roller Coasters.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
Gravity Spoils All Our Fun By Yelling At Us To Keep It Down!
of 33 votes, 24% like it
Greater Than > Less Than
of 31 votes, 13% like it
Grenades Are Just Bursting With Flying Shrapnels of Love.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
Guitars Are Always Willing To Hear Loud Feedback.
of 18 votes, 6% like it
Guns Don't Kill People, Robots With Bazookas Attached To Them Do
of 23 votes, 26% like it
Guns Don't Kill People, They Give Birth To Violent Bullet Babies.
of 18 votes, 33% like it
Gymnists Tell Jokes Through Hand Stand-Up Comedy.
of 25 votes, 16% like it
Ha Ha Ha! I Heard You're Made of Molecules!
of 32 votes, 19% like it
Haha, You've Just Been Caught In My Booby Trap.
of 13 votes, 8% like it
Hair Stylists Dye For Your Sins.
of 32 votes, 25% like it
Hammers And Drumsticks Must Get Headaches All The Time.
of 41 votes, 22% like it
Happy Endings: Beloved In Fairy Tales And Massage Parlors Alike.
of 22 votes, 36% like it
Hate Is a Strong Word, That's Why I Use It To Lift Heavy Things.
of 47 votes, 38% like it
Have a Great Day, Cause the Vampires Will Be Out in Force Soon.
of 30 votes, 10% like it
Have a Happy Whatever the Hell Scientoligists Celebrate!
of 75 votes, 25% like it
Have U Hugged a Zombie Today? Well, That's Probably a Good Thing.
of 47 votes, 21% like it
Have Violent Sex, Not War
of 45 votes, 18% like it
Have You Seen Any Screws Lying Around? One Of Mine Came Loose.
of 19 votes, 26% like it
He Who Casts The First Stone Is Probably Making A Bad Movie.
of 21 votes, 5% like it
Headbanging Is Your Body's Way Of Voting 'YES' To Good Music.
of 45 votes, 31% like it
Health Care Companies Should Be Re-Named Health Who Cares?
of 22 votes, 14% like it
HELP! Have You Seen The Panic Button?!?! I Can't Find It!!
of 32 votes, 13% like it
Help! My Shirt Has A Severe Letter Infestation!
of 32 votes, 25% like it
Hey Math- If You've Got A Problem,Yo I'll Solve It.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
Hey Zombies, Isn't It About Time You Expanded Your Menu?
of 17 votes, 24% like it
Hey, You Wanna Party? Cool, I'll Get The Balloons And Cake!
of 24 votes, 13% like it
Hi, I'm Satan's Assistant & I Dropped a Handbasket. Seen It?
of 19 votes, 5% like it
Hi, I'm the One Who Spams Your E-Mail Accounts 23 Hours a Day!
of 29 votes, 14% like it
Hi. I Don't Think I Know You. Do You Have Any Candy?
of 45 votes, 29% like it
Hibernation Is A Lazy Sunday Gone Insane.
of 27 votes, 4% like it
Hide And Seek Is Not As Fun To Play In The Desert.
of 26 votes, 31% like it
Hippie Galaxies Are Way Far-Out.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
History Books From Long Ago Didn't Have Much To Write About Yet.
of 31 votes, 39% like it
History Repeats Only in the Summertime Between New Seasons.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
Horny Artistic People Are Pro Create.
of 10 votes, 0% like it
Hot Coal Is For Amateurs After You've Been Walking On Sunshine.
of 37 votes, 19% like it
Hot Dogs Are Really Good At Having Frank Discussions.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
House Calls Are Really Hard To Imitate.
of 31 votes, 13% like it
How Am I Broke With Such a Wealth of Useless Information?
of 28 votes, 25% like it
How Am I So Broke With This Wealth of Useless Information?
of 35 votes, 23% like it
How Come No One Can Write a Good Thong Song Anymore?
of 38 votes, 11% like it
How Come No One in "24" Ever Goes to the Bathroom?
of 84 votes, 18% like it
How Come No One Walks On Their Sides On A Sidewalk?
of 22 votes, 18% like it
How Come Stores Sell Heads Of Lettuce But Not The Body?
of 17 votes, 18% like it
How Is Playing Simon Says and Being Someone's Slave Different?
of 34 votes, 29% like it
I Admit Having Faults, Like Having Too Much Awesome.
of 27 votes, 30% like it
I Always Wait Until the Last Second To Plan For the Future.
of 249 votes, 39% like it
I Am a Fully Licensed Mind Defragmenter
of 35 votes, 17% like it
I Am A Trainer Of Training Wheels So That They Can Train Others.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
I Am Conducting Various Scientific Studies On How To Become Cool.
of 46 votes, 11% like it
I Am D.B. Cooper.
of 14 votes, 7% like it
I Am Literally Full of Magical Robots Right Now.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
I am moonwalking backwards right now
of 34 votes, 12% like it
I Am Not Immature, But Your Mother Is.
of 32 votes, 22% like it
I Am Not Immature, Your Mother Is.
of 1 votes, 100% like it
I Am One of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Collect Us All!
of 4 votes, 0% like it
I Am Really Dehydrated, So Pass Me Another Soda Please!
of 34 votes, 12% like it
I Am Really Just a CGI Creation.
of 49 votes, 12% like it
I Am Your Suggested Daily Serving Size of Awesome.
of 47 votes, 23% like it
I Appreciate the Comedy Of Skyscrapers On So Many Levels.
of 17 votes, 29% like it
I Attended The Peace Treaty Signing That Ended The Thumb Wars.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
I Attended The Peace Treaty Signing That Endeed The Thumb Wars.
of 2 votes, 0% like it
I Best Express How I Truly Feel About People Through Mixtapes.
of 22 votes, 36% like it
I Bet You Can't Say 'Toy Boat' Eight Times Fast.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
I Bite Bed Bugs Back!
of 93 votes, 19% like it
I Brake For Oncoming Accidents.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
I Breathe A Lot Easier When I Know Oxygen Is Around.
of 39 votes, 28% like it
I Breathe A Sigh of Relief Whenever Oxygen Is Around.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
I Breathe a Whole Lot Easier When I Know Oxygen is Around.
of 55 votes, 20% like it
I Broke A Witch's Curse. It Shattered All Over So I Had To Buy It
of 38 votes, 16% like it
I Broke My Arm After Someone Threw Their Old Cast At Me.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
I Broke The Law Of Gravity And Was Arrested By The Sky Police.
of 33 votes, 12% like it
I Built A Time Machine, But All It Does Is Blink Midnight.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
I Buy People Rounds Of Applause At Bars.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
I Called Dibs On All Cookies As A Child, So Give 'Em Up!
of 27 votes, 11% like it
I Can Chew Gum AND Wear This Shirt At The Same Time.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
I Can Get Tounge-Tied In Fifty Different Knots!
of 28 votes, 14% like it
I Can Multitask Up To Two Things At Once!
of 27 votes, 19% like it
I Can Never Get My Anarchy Club Meetings To Come To Order.
of 32 votes, 38% like it
I Can Only Multitask One Thing at a Time.
of 37 votes, 22% like it
I Can Only Say Words Up To Two Sylla- Long.
of 29 votes, 21% like it
I can predict the future: you're gonna be mad after reading this
of 26 votes, 8% like it
I Can Read Lips, But Nobody Has a Tattoo of a Novel.
of 19 votes, 5% like it
I Can See The Lips Moving In Your Mind As You Silently Read This.
of 27 votes, 30% like it
I Can Talk To You Now That I'm Up-To-Date On Anti-Cootie Shots.
of 23 votes, 13% like it
I Can Walk and Spew Glum At the Same Time.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
I Can't Believe I Bought A Shirt That Says This On It.
of 35 votes, 14% like it
I Can't Decide If I'm Apathetic Or Just Plain Lazy.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
I Can't Even Remember the Last Time I Forgot Something Important.
of 48 votes, 13% like it
I Can't Find The State Of The Arts On A Map.
of 18 votes, 28% like it
I Can't Hear You: I'm On an iPod Adventure Right Now.
of 100 votes, 18% like it
I Can't Program My Time Machine, It Just Keeps Blinking Midnight!
of 31 votes, 23% like it
I Can't Read. Good thing I'm the One Wearing This Shirt!
of 1 votes, 0% like it
I Can't Read. Good Thing I'm the One Wearing This Shirt!
of 22 votes, 18% like it
I Can't Speak For My Wearer, But This Shirt is Really Cool.
of 41 votes, 22% like it
I Can't Tell Time, He's Horrible At Keeping A Secret.
of 53 votes, 38% like it
I Can't Wait Until a Flying Car Lands On My Head In The Future!
of 36 votes, 25% like it
I Challenge Everyone To Be Less Competitive With One Another.
of 30 votes, 20% like it
I Choose To Be a Beggar.
of 32 votes, 13% like it
I Choose to Be a Begger.
of 47 votes, 15% like it
I Choose To Suppress My Inner Soccer Mom.
of 39 votes, 21% like it
I Come From Several Generations Of Jellybean Farmers.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
I Come From the Future To Tell You...We Still Wear Clever Shirts.
of 530 votes, 38% like it
I Come in Holiday Fun Size Portions
of 46 votes, 17% like it
I Conserve Energy By Driving Without Headlights On At Night.
of 33 votes, 24% like it
I Could Be An Olympic Athlete If Pen Clicking Was A Sport.
of 62 votes, 37% like it
I Could Never Be a Server Because I Don't Take Orders Well.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
I Could Read Your Mind Easier If I Wasn't Illiterate.
of 33 votes, 27% like it
I Counted To Infinity And Reached The End.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
I Cut a Hole Around You, But the World Collapsed Instead.
of 88 votes, 17% like it
I Deal With My Road Rage By Walking Around & Punching Folks.
of 39 votes, 23% like it
I Developed A Fear Of Flying After Being Stung By A Bee.
of 3 votes, 33% like it
I Developed A Fear Of Flying After Getting Stung By A Bee.
of 15 votes, 20% like it
I Developed A Fear Of Flying Moments After I Jumped Off A Cliff.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
I Didn't Follow My Friends Jumping Off a Cliff. Wanna Hang Out?
of 33 votes, 18% like it
I Didn't Just Trip On the Sidewalk, I Was Throwing Myself At You.
of 45 votes, 16% like it
I Didn't Mean To Get Your Attention With This Shirt. Whoops!
of 25 votes, 28% like it
I Didn’t Read Your Mind, I Just Skimmed The Best Parts.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
I Dig You Like a Grave Robber.
of 40 votes, 25% like it
I Dine at the Table of Contents.
of 44 votes, 25% like it
I Don't Agree With The Definition Of 'Contradiction'.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
I Don't Believe In Fairy Tales, I Just Like Kissing Frogs.
of 44 votes, 39% like it
I Don't Engage In Class Warfare Because I Have None.
of 33 votes, 27% like it
I Don't Get Carried Away, I'm Usually Thrown Out.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
I Don't Get Lost, I'm Just Exploring For New Land.
of 33 votes, 27% like it
I Don't Have a Drug Problem Because My Talking Sofa Told Me So.
of 48 votes, 13% like it
I Don't Have a Fear of Flying, It's the Landing Part That Gets Me
of 39 votes, 18% like it
I Don't Have a Pony, But I Do Own a Three-Headed Unicorn.
of 40 votes, 20% like it
I Don't Have Enough Cash to Pay You Any Mind Right Now.
of 34 votes, 24% like it
I Don't Just Kick Out The Jams, I Exile Them!
of 14 votes, 21% like it
I Don't Kill With Kindness, I Poison With Pleasantry.
of 51 votes, 39% like it
I Don't Like Guns But I Love Wearing Tank Tops.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
I Don't Like To Poke Fun. It Usually Gets Really Angry.
of 38 votes, 34% like it
I Don't Make The Rules, I Just Break 'Em.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
I Don't Ride On Bullet Trains Because I'm A Pacifist.
of 36 votes, 14% like it
I Don't Steal, I Pay Homage.
of 19 votes, 32% like it
I Don't Take Life Seriously, Except When I'm Having Fun.
of 14 votes, 21% like it
I Don't Trust Newly Married Brides Who Spread Old Wives Tales.
of 44 votes, 11% like it
I Don't Trust People Who Have Never Had Their Heart Broken.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
I Don't Use My Words. I Just Get Them To Say what I Want.
of 28 votes, 36% like it
I Don't Use MySpace, I Just Make Friends the Old Fashioned Way
of 50 votes, 18% like it
I Don't Wanna Kill the President, Just Beat Some Sense Into Him.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
I Don’t Like Wasting People’s Time, But My T-Shirt Does.
of 26 votes, 19% like it
I Draw Temp Tattoos On My Hands Teachers Consider 'Exam Cheating'
of 13 votes, 8% like it
I dream in technicolor, but in them I'm always colorblind.
of 30 votes, 7% like it
I Dreamed About Having An Active imagination Once.
of 8 votes, 25% like it
I Dreamt About Having An Active Imagination Once.
of 40 votes, 10% like it
I Dress To Depress
of 38 votes, 18% like it
I Drew 65 Pictures An Hour, So I Lost My Artistic License.
of 36 votes, 17% like it
I Drew 65 Pictures Per Hour, So I Lost My Artistic License.
of 40 votes, 15% like it
I Eat Candy Corn To Fulfill My Daily Vegetable Requirements.
of 23 votes, 35% like it
I Eat Cereal Killers For Breakfast.
of 14 votes, 29% like it
I Enjoy Hearing Myths, Legends, Yarns and Tall Tales.
of 32 votes, 9% like it
I Enjoy Wrinkling Up Clothes On My Irony Board.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
I Enjoy Wrinkling Up My Clothes On An Irony Board.
of 13 votes, 8% like it
I Envy Anyone Who Avoids the Seven Deadly Sins More Than I Do.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
I Exceed the Daily Recommended Personality Serving Size.
of 43 votes, 9% like it
I Excel At Cooking Cereal And Peanut Butter & Jelly.
of 5 votes, 20% like it
I Exercise By Sleepwalking Up The Down Escalator.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
I Feed My Computer Chicken Soup When It Gets a Virus.
of 27 votes, 11% like it
I Feel Like You're Cross Dressing Me With Your Eyes
of 38 votes, 8% like it
I Feel So Bad About Taking That Cross-Country Guilt Trip.
of 28 votes, 25% like it
I Fell Down A Rabbit Hole And Ended Up In This Strange World.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
I Figured This Was More Subtle Than a Spinning Bowtie.
of 36 votes, 14% like it
I Finally Passed the Test of the Emergency Broadcast System!
of 58 votes, 31% like it
I Find Classical Music Sounds Best During Old-School Cartoons.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
I Find Whatever Floats My Boat is Usually Water.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
I Fished This Shirt Out of a River At the Boston Tee Party.
of 46 votes, 11% like it
I Forget The Meaning Of Ironic. That's Pretty Darned Ironic, Eh?
of 40 votes, 35% like it
I Fought the Law in a Boxing Match, and I Won.
of 30 votes, 13% like it
I Found the Perfect Match, But Then I Let It Burn.
of 53 votes, 26% like it
I Gave Piece A Chance. And Then I Ate It.
of 26 votes, 19% like it
I Get All Nostalgic When I Think About the Summer of 2016.
of 38 votes, 13% like it
I Get Nightmares Out of the Way In the Day So They Scare Me Less.
of 38 votes, 21% like it
I Got an "A" Minor On My Music Exam!
of 44 votes, 7% like it
I Got Mugged By A Childhood Bully While Strolling Down Memory Ln.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
I Got Mugged When Strolling Down Memory Lane.
of 28 votes, 39% like it
I Got These Rope Burns From Playing Real-Life Hangman Once.
of 46 votes, 37% like it
I Got This From a Second-Hand Slogan Shop
of 34 votes, 9% like it
I Graduated Best Of Five Million From The Exaggeration Academy.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
I Graduated With a 4.0 Average From Saint Lying University.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
I Had A Shaman Cure Me Of All My Superstitions.
of 26 votes, 27% like it
I Had Something To Say, But My Speech Bubble Floated Away.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
I Had the Last Teddybear Stuffed That I Hunted For Sport.
of 30 votes, 20% like it
I Hate It When I Get Freezer Burn on My Brain.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
I Have a Black Belt In Stealing Karate Master's Black Belts.
of 70 votes, 39% like it
I Have a Chest to be Treasured, With Golden Booty to Match
of 36 votes, 8% like it
I Have a Double Chin For Backup Purposes In Case I Lose One.
of 71 votes, 37% like it
I Have a Fear of Flying... While Not Being in a Plane.
of 20 votes, 5% like it
I Have a Fear Of Not Having Something To Worry About.
of 47 votes, 30% like it
I Have a Fear of Zombies With Chicken Pox.
of 21 votes, 5% like it
I Have A Great Home Theater Setup, Now I Just Need Some Actors.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
I Have A Great Sense Of Direction But I Don't Know Where I Put It
of 31 votes, 39% like it
I Have A Part-Time Job As A Jedi Sword Swallower.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
I Have A Pet Peeve, But It Doesn't Bother Me As Much If I Walk It
of 28 votes, 29% like it
I Have a Problem With My Mansion. Apparently, I Don't Have One.
of 3 votes, 67% like it
I Have a Sixth Sense of Humor.
of 39 votes, 21% like it
I Have An Ass That Won't Quit. So I Fired It.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
I Have Compiled My Top 10 Reasons Why Lists Are a Waste of Time.
of 51 votes, 18% like it
I Have Entire Closets Made of Skeleton Bones.
of 40 votes, 8% like it
I Have Eyes In The Back Of My Head, But Fake Ones On The Front.
of 18 votes, 11% like it
I Have Friends, They're Just All Ninjas So You Can't See Them.
of 91 votes, 36% like it
I Have Never Made A Bad Fish Pun On Porpoise.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
I Have Original Sin & 2nd Edition Sin in Their Mint Packaging
of 53 votes, 17% like it
I Have Placed Traps Around the Perimeter To Recapture My Youth.
of 59 votes, 24% like it
I Have Solved the Equation That Proves Mathematics Doesn't Work!
of 46 votes, 15% like it
I Have Some Food For Thought. Whoever Makes Me Think Gets It.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
I Have Strong Feelings Towards Apathy And Irony.
of 35 votes, 31% like it
I Have the Patience of a Man That Hunts Ninja For Sport.
of 6 votes, 0% like it
I Have the Voice of An Angel (with severe laryngitis)
of 32 votes, 0% like it
I Haven't Exaggerated In Like A Million Years.
of 141 votes, 71% like it
I Haven't Used A Secret Code Since The Crow Flew At Midnight.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
I Heard Hell is This Year's Hottest Afterlife Destination.
of 28 votes, 7% like it
I Heard Medicine Balls Cure Any Illness If You Swallow One.
of 31 votes, 10% like it
I Heard Mr. Sandman Was Fired For Sleeping On The Job.
of 13 votes, 31% like it
I Heard Some Onomatopoeias Formed a Band Called WHAM!
of 47 votes, 17% like it
I Heard You Get 100 Free Lives if You Jump Into That Pit of Lava
of 51 votes, 10% like it
I Heart Faceless Corporations
of 37 votes, 11% like it
I Hunt Teddy Bears For Sport And Then Stuff Them For Children.
of 34 votes, 26% like it
I Interview All Aspiring Wizards On My Spell Casting Couch.
of 27 votes, 11% like it
I Invented a Ray That Turns Monopoly Money Into the Real Thing!
of 6 votes, 17% like it
I Invented a Time Machine, But Only To Set Up Practical Jokes
of 31 votes, 10% like it
I Just Can't Seem To Grasp Why Ignorance Equals Bliss.
of 22 votes, 32% like it
I Just Completed My Slogan 365 Project By Submitting This!
of 26 votes, 23% like it
I Just Feel So Naked When I Don't Have Any Clothes On.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
I Just Found Two Identical Snowflakes, But I Got Thirsty.
of 40 votes, 15% like it
I Just Gave You A Mind-Five.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
I Just Had A Sudden Change Of Heart. Do You Want My Old One?
of 20 votes, 40% like it
I Just Moved Into The 9th Floor Penthouse Of Cloud Apartments.
of 17 votes, 6% like it
I Just Saved The World From Certain Doom. What Are You Up To?
of 30 votes, 33% like it
I Just Teleported Here And Boy Are My DNA Strands Tired!
of 22 votes, 14% like it
I Just Thought Of The Best Joke Ever. I Wish It Was On My Shirt.
of 58 votes, 36% like it
I Just Totally Had Sex With a Rainbow.
of 35 votes, 29% like it
I Keep All the World's Missing Puzzle Pieces in My Pockets.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
I Keep Catching Sewer Rats But They Won't Teach Me Karate!
of 113 votes, 37% like it
I Know How Fast Light Speed Travels, But What About In The Dark?
of 32 votes, 19% like it
I Know The Answer To Everything. Except What You're About To Ask.
of 27 votes, 33% like it
I Know What Your Mom Told You, But I Just Like Sharing Candy.
of 7 votes, 43% like it
I Learn Something New Each Day. It's What I Forgot The Day Before
of 78 votes, 38% like it
I Learned All My Life Lessons From Creepy Church Billboards.
of 46 votes, 22% like it
I Learned Lots of Life's Harshest Lessons Watching Them on TV.
of 40 votes, 15% like it
I Learned My ABC's From A Dead English Teach On A Ouija Board.
of 7 votes, 43% like it
I Learned My ABC's From A Dead English Teacher On A Ouija Board.
of 36 votes, 14% like it
I Learned My ABC's From A Ouija Board.
of 49 votes, 16% like it
I Like To Pick Up Strangers In Bars. If They Fall, That Is.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
I Live on the Bleeding Edge So Much That I've Installed Padding.
of 48 votes, 8% like it
I Lived in a House of Cards Until a Slight Breeze Destroyed It.
of 49 votes, 35% like it
I Lost A 'Missing Dog' Sign Around Here. Have You Seen It?
of 4 votes, 25% like it
I Lost My 'Missing Dog' Sign Around Here. Have You Seen It?
of 27 votes, 11% like it
I Lost My Words Around Here. Can You Help Me Find Them?
of 29 votes, 10% like it
I Lost The Keys To My Imagination. Now I Can't Start My Unicorn.
of 142 votes, 60% like it
I Love 80's Movies Without Irony Or Guilt.
of 29 votes, 21% like it
I Love Descriptions. They're Really, Um, Neato.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
I Love Life More Than Life Itself.
of 29 votes, 28% like it
I Love Oxygen So Much I Can't Breathe Without It In My Life.
of 1 votes, 100% like it
I Love Oxygen So Much I Can't Imagine Living Without It.
of 45 votes, 29% like it
I Love Reading Adaptations of Movies That Were Based On Books.
of 47 votes, 32% like it
I Love Surprises, But You'll Hate the Hammer Hit to the Head.
of 12 votes, 8% like it
I Love Telling Knock-Knock Jokes. Okay, You Start...
of 34 votes, 18% like it
I Love That There's An Amendment For the Right To Have Bear Arms.
of 44 votes, 25% like it
I Love To Exercise, If People-Watching Is Considered Exercise.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
I Love To Swap Jokes, But Don't Try Anything Funny.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
I Made a Side Deal With the Devil Involving Future Draft Picks.
of 47 votes, 9% like it
I March To The Beat Of A Speed Metal Drummer.
of 27 votes, 22% like it
I Might Be A Nerd, But At Least I'm The Coolest Nerd.
of 30 votes, 17% like it
I Might Be A Nerd, But I'm The Coolest One.
of 29 votes, 28% like it
I Might Not Make Sense, But At Least I'm Not Made Of Wax Candy.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
I Must Be Worth A Fortune Since I'm In My Original Packaging.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
I Narrowly Escaped A Unicorn Stampede While Visiting Fantasy Land
of 23 votes, 22% like it
I Need An Incredible Tale To Tell at Parties. Let's Go Make One.
of 37 votes, 14% like it
I Need Words on a Shirt 4 U to Stare, Whereas Women Have Cleavage
of 52 votes, 23% like it
I Never Contradict Myself, But I Do Conflict With What I Say.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
I Never Fade Into the Sunset. I Use Star Wipes.
of 44 votes, 9% like it
I Never Found Buttons That Cute To Begin With.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
I Never Jump To Conclusions. It's More Fun To Play Hopscotch.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
I Often Go To Jail For Stealing The Show.
of 46 votes, 28% like it
I Once Told A Risky Joke And Broke My Funny Bone In Three Places.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
I Only Hop On Bugs Because I Hope Gold Coins Will Come Out.
of 26 votes, 31% like it
I Only Play a Homosexual When I'm in My Bedroom Closet
of 6 votes, 0% like it
I Only Speak One Language But I Kiss In Many Others.
of 21 votes, 33% like it
I Only Started That Crime Spree Because It's Nice To Be Wanted.
of 22 votes, 32% like it
I Only Try To Get Brownie Points Because I Really Love Chocolate.
of 26 votes, 27% like it
I Own A Kids Watch That Tells Time At A 12th Grade Level.
of 26 votes, 4% like it
I Park at Green Lights To Get the Techno Honking Party Started.
of 44 votes, 16% like it
I Pass Funny Money Off To Get Into Comedy Clubs
of 2 votes, 0% like it
I Perform All My High-Speed Chases In Super Slo-Mo.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
I Placate Constantly. Thanks For Taking the Time to Read This.
of 38 votes, 21% like it
I Play a Killer "Stairway to Heaven" on Kazoo
of 31 votes, 10% like it
I Play Bombardment With Cannonballs.
of 11 votes, 18% like it
I Practice Levitation By Keeping All the Planets in the Air.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
I Practice My Atheist Beliefs Very Religiously.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
I Practice Self-Preservation When I Turn Myself Into Jelly.
of 41 votes, 15% like it
I Pray Everyday For the End of Religion.
of 38 votes, 18% like it
I Pretend I'm a Jedi & Wave My Hand Through Automatic Doors.
of 66 votes, 35% like it
I Promised I Wouldn't Verbally Abuse Anyone Today, SO SHUT UP!
of 44 votes, 16% like it
I Punch Zebras in My Spare Time.
of 37 votes, 22% like it
I Put the 'Original' in 'Originalityism'.
of 26 votes, 15% like it
I Put TNT in My Closet To Prepare For the Monster Invasion.
of 35 votes, 17% like it
I Rarely Time Travel Because The Special Effects Are So Cheesy.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
I Read Ten Books A Day, If You Count Pop-Up, Match and Comic.
of 32 votes, 16% like it
I Really Don't Like Unhealthy Foods. I Just Love Their Tastes.
of 34 votes, 12% like it
I Really Hate Food, But I Just Love Tastes.
of 10 votes, 10% like it
I Really Miss My Sandbox Universe
of 44 votes, 7% like it
I Really Wish You Hadn't Read This.
of 12 votes, 17% like it
I Run An Existential Crisis Hotline For Philosophy Students.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
I Said I Had a SENSE of Humor, Not Actual Humor.
of 26 votes, 12% like it
I Saw A Sign Of The Apocolypse, But It Only Told Me To Merge.
of 12 votes, 8% like it
I Scuba Dive For Sunken Treasure In Wishing Wells.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
I See No Point In Sports, Which Is How Many Points I Often Score.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
I See That Eyes Are The New Look This Year.
of 29 votes, 10% like it
I See The Glass As Half-About-To-Be-Drank.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
I Sharpened The Tools In My Shed And Feel Smarter Already!
of 22 votes, 23% like it
I Shot the Sheriff, But I Did Not Shoot the Kennedys.
of 30 votes, 17% like it
I Should Probably Disclose That My Toes Are Crossed Right Now.
of 35 votes, 14% like it
I Show My Respect For President's Day By Drinking The Most Beer.
of 44 votes, 30% like it
I Sky-Wrote A Novel Once, But A Hurricane Destroyed All My Work.
of 34 votes, 24% like it
I Sleep In A Circus Tent On Camping Trips.
of 19 votes, 32% like it
I Sleepwalk During The Day And While I'm Awake.
of 19 votes, 32% like it
I Slept My Way To The Top Of The Bunk Bed.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
I Sometimes Hang Out In Graveyards To Look Younger.
of 32 votes, 16% like it
I Speak Dozens Of Languages. Too Bad I Made All Of Them Up.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
I Speak T-Shirt Quite Fluently.
of 19 votes, 11% like it
I Spelunk Into Black Holes and Time Warps When I'm Bored.
of 31 votes, 10% like it
I Stepped On a Crack, and Now My Mom Can't Walk For a Month.
of 17 votes, 6% like it
I Still Play With Toys Meant For Children
of 69 votes, 17% like it
I Stole a Guitar to Play in a Videogame Group Called Contra Band.
of 38 votes, 11% like it
I Store Corrupted Viruses in a Heavily Guarded Data Base.
of 26 votes, 12% like it
I Struck Lightning Once, But It Struck Me Back And Won The Fight.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
I Suppose YOUR SHIRT Could Think Up a Better Slogan?
of 40 votes, 13% like it
I Suspect Fishing Wire Holds the Planets Up In Outer Space.
of 39 votes, 36% like it
I Suspect Little Gnomes Make Our Mouths Move Up and Down.
of 41 votes, 20% like it
I Swam In Radioactive Waste And All I Got Was This Lousy 5th Eye.
of 24 votes, 25% like it
I Swear I Saw Bigfoot Riding A Unicorn The Other Day.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
I Take Flights of Fancy Whenever I Find a Cheap Enough Ticket.
of 235 votes, 36% like it
I Talk So Much My T-Shirt Won't Even Shut The Hell Up.
of 32 votes, 16% like it
I Teach My Grapes To Respect Their Raisin Elders.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
I Tend To Around Things Switch Every While in a Once.
of 35 votes, 26% like it
I Tend To Crash Parties in a Car With Good Airbags.
of 35 votes, 20% like it
I Think Cotton Candy Is Grown In A Giant Circus Tent.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
I Think I Might Have ADDee De Deee Deee De De....
of 41 votes, 17% like it
I Think I Put My Brain On Inside-Out Today.
of 19 votes, 11% like it
I Think I Took a Wrong Turn Into Reality a Few Miles Back.
of 19 votes, 26% like it
I Think I'm Getting a Stomach Ache in My Brain
of 40 votes, 18% like it
I Think My Jump Rope Is Broken. It Hasn't Jumped Once.
of 35 votes, 34% like it
I Think My Paranoia is Out To Get Me!
of 37 votes, 19% like it
I THINK SUBTLETY IS THE BEST WAY TO GET A POINT ACROSS.
of 41 votes, 22% like it
I Think the Sun is Having A Late-Night Affair With My Shadow!
of 34 votes, 18% like it
I Thought An Instigator Was a Mischievous Crocodile.
of 39 votes, 23% like it
I Thought Of a Great Excuse Today, But My Dog Ate It.
of 30 votes, 23% like it
I Thought Recycling Was Traveling Through Time On A Bike.
of 26 votes, 31% like it
I Thought the Planet Was Finally Warming Up To Us.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
I Time Travel But I've Settled Here For Now. You'll See Why Soon.
of 36 votes, 36% like it
I Tip My Invisible Top Hat In Your Direction
of 19 votes, 26% like it
I Tip the Scales. It's Only Polite After You Stand on Them.
of 30 votes, 10% like it
I Tip Waiters And Cows Equal Amounts.
of 21 votes, 33% like it
I Took Acting Classes For Many Years So I Could Perform Surgery.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
I Totally Got the Better of the Deal With the Devil I Just Signed
of 36 votes, 8% like it
I Traded My Tickets To The Gun Show For An All-You-Can-Eat Buffet
of 32 votes, 25% like it
I Trademarked the Call of the Wild.
of 26 votes, 8% like it
I Travel at Light Speed When I'm On a Diet.
of 38 votes, 16% like it
I Travel By Clown Car To Cut Down On Pollution.
of 26 votes, 15% like it
I Use the North Pole When I Have Jousting Competitions.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
I Used To Be On Edge About My Grammar, But Now I'm Past Tense.
of 58 votes, 22% like it
I Used to Be Uptight About My Grammar, But Now I'm Past Tense.
of 42 votes, 19% like it
I Used to Have a Logo Here, But My Shirt Kicked Its Ass.
of 47 votes, 28% like it
I Violate FBI Warnings on DVDs
of 46 votes, 17% like it
</